Editorial: Choose words wisely, parents

On Saturday, as my partner was reading the Bay of Plenty Times Weekend, he alighted on Carly Gibbs' story about 3-year-old children who swear.

"#*&$," he said. "Did you see this? Sixty per cent of children swear and 42 per cent pick up bad language by age 3."

He can be forgiven for the irony in his statement - being a builder, his profession is not known for its delicate turn of phrase. I myself am an unlikely crusader against profanity. Although in my strict convent school even saying "sugar" in a certain way was a one-way ticket to Hell, now having spent years in newsrooms I am immune to visceral language that would have once horrified me.

We don't need an expert in psycholinguistics to tell us the reason children are swearing is that parents are swearing more. Not just parents, but everyone. Words that were once taboo are commonplace.

Particularly in this part of the world. Witness the Toyota adverts, and the news reports after the Christchurch earthquakes when the city was described as "munted".

Here at our paper, I remember reading a report of a witness describing a car going "full-tit".

In these contexts one could argue the words themselves are used inoffensively.

Perhaps the offence in swear words is not about the word itself but the intent. Swear words still have the power to incite hatred, abuse, violence or harassment. But how do you separate the intent from the use?

As Carly Gibbs reports, swearing at schools is still regulated and even kindergarten teachers teach children why it is not okay to swear.

Ever more, teachers are burdened with the role of moral gatekeeper when really it is down to us as parents to not only teach children the conventions of language, but also walk the talk.

Swearing is so much a part of everyday talk it would be hard to go cold turkey.

There are times when nothing but a juicy well-placed cuss will do - whether you have twisted your ankle on your stiletto or on hearing that some ****** has burned Harold the Giraffe's classroom. But surely we can dial it back in front of the kids.

Words have power. We have the gift of a rich expressive language. Let's teach children a more elaborate vocabulary to express their emotions with, rather than the easy "poetic" language we all resort to.

The way we use words shows how we respect people but also how we respect ourselves.

My strict school had a saying: "What comes out of your mouth reflects what's in your heart."