What do people have against paper products? My fingers end up messy or greasy during meals and noshing. I need something to wipe them on besides my shirt. Or your tablecloth or cushion. Dining establishments have cottoned on to the napkin thing, but I find myself asking for a paper towel, anything ... when at friends' homes.
Rubbish bins in rooms beyond the kitchen
I don't need a clean-up crew at every corner, but I appreciate a little bin in the bathroom and the bedroom. Carrying around used tissues, dental floss and tufts of my hair, which sheds worse than a golden retriever, is gross.
Teenagers
Often underrated. Maybe not this week. They can, however, do remarkable things such as cook meals, clean house and hang wash. Not that this happens with regularity.
Good and normal things
Often news is news because it's a threat, or it's unusual. We report good news, like beach clean-ups, charity fundraisers, athletic feats - even stories about people who cover the shortfall of the person ahead of them in the grocery checkout queue.
But what if reporters chased the mundane to show how fine and ordinary most of life can be? Picture paparazzi outside your window, waiting to snap you drinking coffee, combing your hair, or doing dishes. We'd read headlines about tens of thousands of people waking up healthy in the Bay; arriving safely at their destination in a motor vehicle; co-existing peacefully at home; about the fact all the local council signage has been spelled correctly and by the way, your elected officials are cutting your rates, too (I admit, the last one is a stretch).
Walking
I've been a runner for years, but I also walk. And I hear people say, "I wish I could run". You can. Or walk. Anything that gets us beyond the screen and moving is fantastic. People will tell you they're too busy to exercise, then return to their show or social media app for the next hour. Just walk a little every day. Your heart (and dog, if you have one) will thank you.
Five Overrated People, Places or Things
Beetroot.
It's a Kiwi obsession. It even gets slipped between a meat or veggie patty and a bun. The American beets of my childhood were slimy and foul-smelling. I'd spit them into my water hoping no one would notice. Today, I'll eat roasted beetroot in a salad, but I'm still not inserting something that bleeds and smells like foot fungus into my burger.
Designer cars
You love your vehicle with the flash emblem. The way it handles, the way it looks, the way it announces your status at 100 km/h. I don't love their high sticker price, $200 oil changes or inflated prices for replacement parts.
Deconstructed food
If I order cheesecake, I want it pre-assembled. This means crust on the bottom, cheesy cake in the middle and maybe cream and a drizzle of something over the top. I don't want a crust sitting on my plate, while the cake waits atop the bar and the cream is just over the road. Put them together, please.
Diets
If it has a name, I don't want to know about it. Keto, Paleo, No-Eat-O … I could follow one of these plans for the rest of my life only if I die tomorrow. Even death-row prisoners in the US get a last meal of their choice. Mine would not be cream, cheese and steak. Given the chance, I'm going out with a crusty loaf of bread between my teeth.
Speaking of which, I recently realised I've been following a plant-based diet for decades. Wheat, rye and barley are all part of the grass family. This week alone, we've enjoyed two plant-based meals: tuna on grass by-products and eggs on grass by-products. Pesto also counts as a green.
Long goodbyes
You've decided to leave the party/event/whatever. That's fine. See you later. If I've decided to go, I'll make it short. This doesn't always work when you're with other people. Sometimes, there's a 15-20-minute period between "We're outta here", and "Goodbye". I've been known to leave a party in full swing after midnight without circulating to all two dozen guests. I doubt anyone noticed.
Cheers, everyone. Have an ordinary weekend.
