GP Lauren Roche will speak in Tauranga next month to share her story of how she turned her life and her life as a stripper and sex worker. Photo/Darryl Carey
GP Lauren Roche will speak in Tauranga next month to share her story of how she turned her life and her life as a stripper and sex worker. Photo/Darryl Carey
A Northland general practitioner tells of her journey from teenage stripper and hooker to doctor, writes Monique Balvert-O'Connor
From prostitute to physician - with the journey including deported stowaway, teenage stripper, fire-eater, school drop-out, and suicidal drug user.
Introducing ... Lauren Roche; a doctor, author, and motivational speaker with a tremendous story to tell - a story chronicled in her two autobiographies. It's a colourful tale the Northland general practitioner will be telling in Tauranga next month when she is guest speaker at the Breast Cancer Support Service Tauranga Trust's Legacy 200 Club lunch.
By way of relatively recent history, Lauren graduated as a doctor in 1991 and is training to become a GP specialist.
"I have been a doctor 10 times longer than I have been a hooker, but it's the hooking people are more interested in," she laughs.
She has been Whangarei-based for the past 19 months, where she is "living a great life" with partner Graham, a coffee roaster, whom she met at a speaking engagement. Graham was introduced to her life after three husbands had been farewelled (one lasted only one day).
Public speaking is rarely part of her schedule these days. She professes to being more private than she used to be; an introvert with a liking for a "nice, quiet life". However, the Tauranga cause captured her interest; plus it's a chance to catch up with her gym-instructor buddy who once taught her to box for fitness. Speaking to large groups can be exhausting, she says, as can touring. "I did a couple of UK tours with my books. Not the USA though, as I didn't get a visa for the USA until about 10 years ago."
The visa issue will be hangover from her teenage days - she hasn't been back there since being a 16-year-old stowaway.
While strong resolve and hard work at med school proved Lauren could orchestrate a good, and more conventional life, things didn't just suddenly become easier. "The life lesson is, if you don't face your demons and sort things out, those demons will continue to bite you."
The demons were still yapping at Lauren's heels during her early years as a doctor. "I again suffered from very severe depression, and tended to self-medicate that with alcohol and my own prescription pad, which is a very bad trap and frowned on for very good reason."
I began to medicate my depression with good exercise and good food and surrounding myself with good people.
Stress factors leading up to this time included going bankrupt.
"It took me a long time to realise I was the architect of a lot of things that went wrong in that year. If I had made better decisions, a lot of that wouldn't have happened," is her candid view these days.
So how did she move on from that low point in her life? Lauren tells how she moved town, had counselling, and started to exercise. "I began to medicate my depression with good exercise and good food and surrounding myself with good people," she quips. "I did the Ironman in 2007 and went from being 103 kilos to my Ironman weight of 68 kilos."
At 55, she is now a self-professed "grown up". Looking back she says many of the unwise decisions made on her life path simply seemed to "make sense at the time".
"I wouldn't change anything in my life as it has brought me to where I am and I am very happy with who I have grown to be. My background makes me prod people who are not being strong."
She's not sure she's entirely comfortable with people calling her an "inspiration". "Every now and then people do bring that up, in relation to my past and my journey. It's a weird kind of reversal - my patients often know more about me than I know about them."
Bent Not Broken, and Life On The Line, are largely responsible for that knowledge. Her books were not simply NZ sensations - they have, for example, been translated into German, Chinese and Swedish.
While some members of her family were less than thrilled with Lauren publishing her life story, she has no regrets.
The life lesson is, if you don't face your demons and sort things out, those demons will continue to bite you.
"I have had mail from people all over the world saying the books were helpful. That's a really neat thing. Some parents have said they have forgiven their kids for the bad stuff they have put them through.
"I got a really nice letter from some parents whose son died in a car crash. He was in his 20s, went off the rails, left school, read my first book and then started training to be a nurse. They thanked me for inspiring their son. He died happy, ambitious and settled. That was a magical thing for them to share with me," she says.
At the Legacy 200 Club lunch at ASB Arena on August 5 Lauren will talk about her life and things she has learnt along the way.
"Generally my message will be that you must never, ever give up on your dreams or stomp on someone else's dreams, as they may be all some people have. I am also likely to talk about children and resilience. Children need someone to care for them but that doesn't have to be their mum or dad. To be resilient they need someone available and constant, and sometimes parents are too broken to be there."
Lauren Roche's book Bent Not Broken
Lauren knows this well - both as a daughter and mother. This doctor's early life was marked with trauma, with junkies and alcoholics and her mother committing suicide. While Lauren's childhood was hugely turbulent, she says there were times she felt sorry for the kids with the "normal lives".
"I sometimes thought 'they must be really bored'. Same school, same teachers, same set of parents. It just shows how kids are tough little things and very good at normalising their situation no matter what is. "I am not advocating an unsettled life for children, I am just saying that 'yes, I had a tough life' but Nia Glassie had a tougher life."
the details: Every year about 200 Bay of Plenty women (and some men) are diagnosed with breast cancer.
The 200 Club is a supporters' club of the Breast Cancer Support Service (BCSS), which has been operating in the Bay since 1991.
The 200 Club offers members of the public the chance to come together as a community and collectively make a bigger impact on the lives of those the service supports.
Membership of the 200 Club costs $200 for the year - generated funds are used for various projects and support programmes run by BCSS.
Join the club and benefits (other than philanthropic goodness) include an invitation to The Legacy 200 Club Lunch, held at ASB Arena on August 5. Guest speaker is Lauren Roche. To join phone 07 571 3346 or email manager@breastcancer bop.org.nz. See www.the200club.co.nz.
