One thing I have learned over the years is when it comes to all the research and roundabout discussions, the price comparisons and the pondering and pressure involved in purchasing big-ticket items, never say to the man in your life, "Look, for God's sake, stop talking about it, just go and buy one!" and then walk away.
This is how I ended up with an Isuzu Bighorn instead of Mini Cooper, a television that takes up half the lounge, an entire home gym when all I wanted was 2kg dumbbells and a whopping great surfcaster when all we needed was something with which to catch sprats off the wharf.
So you'd think after my 11-year-old son had spent the best part of an hour in the toy aisle of the Warehouse armed with a wallet full of Christmas gift cards garnered from well-meaning relatives, I would have thought twice about blurting out those words and making the same mistake; but no. I told him to hurry up and choose something before walking out to go and wait in the car.
Which is why he bought home the Nerf N-Strike Elite Retaliator gun; a military spec, super-sized, semi-automatic lump of blue and orange plastic which, in addition to breaking down into three separate weapons (always important for an 11-year-old to have variety in their playthings) it shoots dozens of four-inch blue and orange foam darts all over the house at the speed of sound. Darts that land in the pot-plants, down the back of the enormous television, inside the hole in the stereo subwoofer, in every shoe I own and in the fish bowl.
The poor fish are over it. It's not like they haven't got enough to worry about with a new kitten in the house, one that's always looking for new and inventive ways to make their lives scary and miserable.
