When word went round asking for someone to review Fifty Shades of Grey, I took one for the team and saw this incredibly hyped film adaptation.
Much like Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), my curiosity had been piqued by the reputation of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Sadly, like the film's weak female lead, I, too, would regret my curiosity.
Having never read the book, but heard many tales of its dubious quality, I can only assume the film's flaws are because of the source material. You all know the story -- it's as predictable and cliched as every Mills & Boon novel ever written. Naive, plain-but-pretty grad student meets wealthy, handsome businessman with a taste for women he can control. He's into BDSM, and refuses to "be romantic"; she's a virgin waiting for her shining knight. Christian likes to dominate and Ana is the predictably whimpering, submissive woman.
The sex is obviously the most-hyped part of this "mummy porn" phenomenon. Sadly, the awkwardly vanilla sex scenes in the film do not even remotely live up to the hype.
Controlling, emotionally manipulative relationship aside, my biggest bugbear with this film was the fact Ana supposedly fell in love with an awful man she barely knew. Seriously, the longest conversation they have is where they go over the details of the BDSM contract she never actually signs.