These days, most property owners spend half their weekends mowing and the other half moaning about it to other property owners. Next to growing tomatoes, it's probably one of the most talked about activities among New Zealand gardeners.
Fortunately, putting in a new lawn or redesigning an old one is within the capabilities of most people, and there's so much information about how to do it it's a wonder the entire country hasn't been sown in grass.
Autumn is the time to do it. Here's the drill.
Read up on lawns. There's a heap of info on the internet (Mitre 10, Yates, TuiGarden and a zillion more sites) so be sure you have the basic knowledge.
Draw the shape of your proposed lawn on paper. Long, easy curves will give a sense of space and intrigue; straight lines are stylish and lend order and formality. Try to avoid fussy little corners and points. They make the space seem smaller and are impossible to mow.
Resist including trees or shrubs. They make lawns look cluttered, get in the way of your games, and each one adds two minutes of frustration to mowing time.
Mark the lawn out with a spray paint can, string lines or a garden hose. Walk around it, throw a ball or two in it, and push the mower around. You'll soon spot your mistakes.
Spray the area to get rid of existing weeds and grasses, rake out stones and debris, and work up the soil to a depth of about 8cm using a rotary hoe or garden fork. Add a dressing of fertiliser, level the soil and rake the top to form a seed bed.
Select the right kind of seed for the performance you want. Don't choose a soft, sexy grass if you have seven children who want to play cricket and ride trikes. There are so many varieties now there's no excuse for not getting exactly what you need. Keep in mind, you can sow different areas in different grasses.
Give your lawn finite edges - it's a lawn, not a paddock. Timber or concrete edging recessed to the same level as the grass makes mowing easy.
A lot of modern day lawn seed is speedy stuff, and in the right conditions you could see a greening up in a few days. If that's not fast enough, there's always instant lawn. It comes in rolls and is usually installed by a specialist, but it's not beyond the skills of a DIY enthusiast. You will need to water it faithfully and follow all the instructions for its care until the turf has put roots into the soil beneath and knitted together.
Spray-on lawns are also popular. They start out looking like turquoise porridge and turn into lush grass in about three weeks.
If all else fails, paint it. Seriously - you can buy lawn paint. It comes in an aerosol can and is designed to hide annoying dead bits. Certainly not intended to fake a complete lawn, but not a bad solution if you're about to host a wedding and the dog has left crop circles where the outdoor altar is going to go.
However you decide to lay your lawn, you'll need to spend time maintaining it. It'll need treatment for weeds and prickles, dead patches will need reseeding, and you should give it a feed of specialist lawn fertiliser in spring. Oh, and chances are you'll need to mow it.
Happily, engineer Edwin Beard Budding (1795-1846) from Gloucestershire, was granted the first patent for a mechanical lawn mower in 1830. We've come a long way since then, and if you're anything like me, hopping on the ride-on for an hour or two of uninterrupted solitude will become one of the greatest pleasures of the weekend.
