Jason Renes: A lame parenting dilemma

Photo / Thinkstock

This week we introduce our new blogger Jason Renes.
The former Tauranga man will be writing about juggling study, work, parenthood and everything in between.

I'm fond of many things. Comic books, rugby league and long blacks from Grindz café are but a few. However, two things in particular create a surge of emotion in me unlike anything else. Heavy metal music and my six-year-old son.

Every second weekend I take my son out of town so we can spend the night with his grandmother. My whole schedule is arranged around this trip. I've missed concerts, shows and footy games. I've declined invites to parties so cool you'd get an ice-headache just while approaching the door. I've gladly turned these opportunities down because they've clashed with our fortnightly trip. And I have never felt an itch of regret about it.

The weekend just gone was mine and my son's visit to his Nan's and I couldn't help but feel slightly bummed because one of my favourite American metal bands was playing in Auckland. And I couldn't go.

I've been obsessed with their relentless, psychedelic-sludge metal sound for the past 10 years. To see them live would have been a seminal experience.

I could have gone. I had the means and will to go. But I didn't because my son's trip took precedence.

And while we had a great time together I would catch myself having deep yearnings to fly to the Kings Arms Tavern to head-bang, thrash and holler to loud music - particularly while he was crawling over me, pushing his behind into my face and threatening to fart. But my priorities were set, even as the ache to go moshing arose in me.

It was a slightly tweaked repeat of the same dilemma I had growing up. As a kid I couldn't go to these shows because my mother wouldn't let me. Now as a father, I still couldn't go because my kid wouldn't let me.

It seems like the attitude of a real crumb-bum. I certainly felt like one. After all, he won't stay this precious age forever. I realise that. One day I'll wake up and he'll be to old to fart in my face. I'm not sure if I want that day to come too soon.

However, by then he may be old enough to go to a metal gig with me.