McCoskrie said he wouldn't wear a ribbon because White Ribbon Day messages make a gender issue out of a family problem. "What about women's violence toward men and children?" he asked.
It is a legitimate question, but one that reveals a lack of understanding of the history, role and impact of the White Ribbon Day campaign. Started by men in Canada in 1991 after the mass shooting of 14 female students at the University of Montreal, White Ribbon has remained steadfast to its founders' principles: That if violence is to be prevented, men must lead, and take responsibility for their role in it; and that starts with their attitudes toward violence against women. White Ribbon shows men how they can be part of the solution. It uses the strength of men to help bring about an end to all violence.
There is good science behind this.
Studies show that men respond more positively to social campaigns when the message they receive is from men, about men, and asking men to stand up and lead. When messages are more generic, men are more likely to then see it as someone else's issue. We need men involved in family violence prevention in New Zealand.
White Ribbon helps achieve that.
And it works. White Ribbon, and its allied campaign "It's Not OK" have been proven to be effective, not only for raising awareness of family violence generally, but also increasing the number of people prepared to do something about it. Surveys on the effect of "It's Not OK", for example, show that one in five New Zealanders have taken, or would be willing to take, action against family violence when they encounter it. The police say family violence is seriously under-reported. That's changing. Tolerance of family violence is at an all-time low and reporting at a record high, a result the police freely credit, in no small part, to the impact of the anti-violence campaigns. We are starting to see evidence that the actual rate of family violence might be starting to reduce.
This is backed up by the human stories the Families Commission hears.
Participants in the main White Ribbon event - the White Ribbon motorcycle ride - told us repeatedly that these activities open doors for people from all walks of life to talk about family violence and gives them the courage to act. The ride elicits an incredible grassroots response from communities and individuals throughout New Zealand. When the leather-clad male riders talk, men listen, and so do their sons and wives, fathers and daughters, uncles and aunts and brothers. The stories people tell of the impact of White Ribbon activities are inspirational for their life-changing renewal, bringing an end to violence for many families.
Family violence has never been made out by the Families Commission to be a simplistic formula of who's the strongest physically in a relationship. It occurs among all family members in families of all cultures, classes, backgrounds and socio-economic circumstances. It is a complex and difficult issue that demands a multiple number of approaches to deal with it. The White Ribbon campaign is one tool in our kit box.
