Where did your sweet girl go?

Rapunzel may have been locked away in a tower for good reason. Photo/File

The editor looked askance at me when I said that I could write on child-rearing ...

To be honest, my offspring would probably look equally askance, but I am here to give fathers the best advice on bringing up girls they might see all day ... well, all morning, anyway.

Blokes, if you have daughters and they are under about 11 or 12, you are probably enjoying the warm glow that comes from the "sugar and spice, and all things nice" end of the spectrum. The nicely dressed dolls, the kisses, the cuddles, the "Oh, you need a shave, daddy ..."

Well mates, enjoy it while you can, because sooner or later - with most girls at least - a hormonal change takes place that can transform your beautiful, sweet-natured little girl into a raging monster. It is as if an alien has possessed her mind - she becomes moody, combative, contrary and not nice to be around.

You may begin to understand why Rapunzel was shut into a tower in a forest when she was 12. The tower had neither stairs nor door, which may have been the wishful thinking of the author with a daughter her age.

The only mitigation is that she won't want to be around you much, either. You have become a hostile creature that doesn't understand her many needs. You are clearly an abusive parent - fancy wanting her to do the dishes and clean out the cat box! OMG, how gross!

If your daughter has got to this stage, then sorry - it's too late for you. You need to begin years beforehand. Several men I know have successfully tried this strategy and it doesn't involve forest towers, dungeons - or even bribes.

The goal is to get to know her. To treat her like you would, eventually, want any young suitors to treat her.

Every month, more or less, you must take her out to dinner and, perhaps, a movie. Let her dress up and wear make-up, a nice dress, her special jewellery (which you have bought her) - the whole nine yards.

And you do the same. If her mother is a "warrior queen" and isn't into having doors opened for her and other chivalrous trivialities, let your daughter see the benefits of her not being a "warrior princess".

Depending on her age and state of mind, the restaurant doesn't have to be Logan Brown, and it doesn't need to be a movie or a show - just whatever floats your boat. The trick is she will be treated like a lady and have your undivided attention for three or four hours and you can talk about anything with no preaching, or hypothetical stories of monsters and maidens.

Girls can see through this at about age 3, so learn the rules. Her world is a lot more real than you can believe, and - if she goes to school - certainly more feral. No one said that it was going to be easy, but I can promise you that it will be easier. Girls rely on their friends and peer pressure is huge for them and they can be led astray by friends even more than you were (remember?).

When the inevitable difficulties do arise, then at least you will have a relationship with her and she is more likely to trust you. And she will certainly need your trust and your understanding.

In my view, the thought of walking her down the aisle is more desirable than walking her baby for her while she is at school. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

Chris Northover is a former Wanganui lawyer who has worked in the fields of aviation, tourism, health and the environment - as well as designing electric cars and importing photo-voltaic panels.