The price of finding love: Nicky Rennie

I’m sick to death of the attitude that one simply can’t be happy unless they are with someone else, writes Nicky Rennie. Photo / 123rf

Whanganui-based Nicky Rennie returned to her home town in 2018 while celebrating three decades in broadcasting. She has written a column for the Whanganui Chronicle since 2021.

OPINION

We are in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis and watching the news has become more and more difficult due to decisions being made at the top level that are having dire consequences on the average New Zealander.

Families who are trying to do the best by their loved ones are being handed one sucker punch after another, and I’m finding a rather awful sense of overwhelm trying to afford the basics.

I know my budget down to the cent and it isn’t pretty. In fact, it’s downright stressful and I no longer have a teenage mouth to feed any more.

I still consider myself lucky, especially after talking to a friend of mine who is a single mum of three teenagers and on a limited income. The stress is palpable, never-ending and a constant concern. For most people I know at the moment, things are difficult and they are just getting by financially, so I was intrigued this week when I read about a matchmaking site called Compatico that has been set up by Theresa Gattung.

Gattung has run some of the biggest companies in New Zealand, started others (including My Food Bag) and is without doubt an incredible businesswoman. It would appear she has been unlucky in love, however, and at 62, has been single for a long time and viewed that as a problem that needed to be solved. Gattung is quoted as saying, “A lot of women start a business to solve a problem, and I believe this is a problem that I can solve.” Good luck with that, Champ. I’ll just add it to my to-do list, shall I?

The reason this article struck a chord is that the fee for this matchmaking business costs $6000 for an annual membership. It’s aimed at over-40-year-olds with no limit at the top end of the age bracket. I nearly coughed up my cornies.

The fact she sees being single as a problem that needs to be solved was the first thing I took umbrage with. I’m sick to death of the attitude that one simply can’t be happy unless they are with someone else. It’s antiquated, boring and quite frankly wrong. I feel more omnipotent, confident and happy on my own. I don’t have to second-guess myself and I don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations except my own and my personal standards.

I mentioned Compatico to my aforementioned girlfriend with the three young people she’s raising who, like me, has been single for years. Boy, we laughed. The thought of trying to navigate our way through a new relationship while doing mental gymnastics at the grocery store as to whether you can afford to put a cabbage in the trolley deserved nothing but mirth. Gattung is most certainly not living on planet cost-of-living-crisis.

It’s clearly aimed at the upper echelon of society who are used to buying themselves out of any situation, including being single. Even if I sold my Suzuki Swift, I wouldn’t get enough money to enlist the help of this agency and, if I did, I would certainly want to guarantee that I had swapped my reliable ride for one that is a lot more exciting.

But herein lies the rub. In the terms and conditions, it states they don’t guarantee a match; $6000 is a lot of money to spend when a happy ending isn’t even guaranteed. The other issue is there are far more women than men utilising Compatico. It would appear the gentlemen seem to be more cautious. That, or they think giving $6000 a year away for the odd date is a little on the steep side. I concur and I’d be left without a car.

If you are a heterosexual woman who utilises an online dating app (and I have sparingly in the past), I can tell you that you will find a plethora of men determined to show their masculinity in their profile pictures. Some up a mountain, some with beasts on their backs, a fish in hand or doing water sports of some description.

If you like correct grammar you will also be sorely disappointed.

The one takeaway that I can guarantee is that you will feel a damn sight more positive about being single once you have checked the lie of the land.

The other thing I’d like to add is that even if you are rich enough to be able to sign up for this matchmaking service, it certainly doesn’t guarantee that you won’t be stuck with an absolute plonker. Money doesn’t make you a better person, it doesn’t make your values align and it doesn’t make you laugh until your sides hurt. In fact, quite the opposite for a lot of us at the moment. Without enough of it, the urge to cry is very close to the surface. Often.

I feel sad when people don’t feel complete without a partner, but I felt even more sad that some may now still feel alone, but will be $6000 lighter in the pocket. I love love and I love seeing happy couples and if I trip over someone and fall in love myself one day, nobody will be happier than me.

I’m a firm believer in fate myself — and besides, I value my Suzuki Swift and that cabbage too much to risk it.