The little white lies of childhood

Chris Northover Photo/File

To conunterfeit a phrase: there are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies and things we tell our kids.

Christmas is packed with opportunities to mislead the young, mostly well-meaning, usually innocent, but lies nonetheless.

There are many generations of children growing up thinking that it is possible for an 18-stone man to wriggle down a chimney without leaving a mess, and to do this in the homes of every child on earth in less than 24 hours.

And what do we tell children when Santa doesn't bring them what they wanted?

Well, awhile ago now, when the tooth fairy was working in his man cave late at night putting a new engine into his racing car, he forgot to exchange a tooth left under a pillow for money. This was tragic until someone asked: "Did the boy brush his teeth before bed?" No? Well, there's your answer then - the tooth fairy is very particular about dental hygiene.

Own up. We've all done it. Some kids have been told that babies are brought to our homes by storks, which leave them under cabbages in the garden, while others believe that somehow the birds and the bees have a hand in it all. The mythical old man in the Coca Cola red suit has left many fertile fields for imaginative stories.

It's no wonder that when kids get older and learn the untruth of so many things they have been told in their childhood, they begin to doubt everything they have learned from the people that they ought to trust most of all. We may be rejected out of hand for the truth as well as the untruth of what we have said.

In years gone by, I have probably risked rejection more than most due to the reckless way I have used the truth with those in my care. Have social welfare standing by; this man ought to be quarantined.

On a move to a new home, Chris was in charge of the goldfish, including Freddy, the ugliest goldfish ever created. Those fish had had their tank cleaned and recleaned, been lovingly fed (but not too much), and been adored for several years. They had a charmed life, until one day, still two hours from the destination, Chris noticed that Freddy had learned a new trick - how to swim upside down.

What to do? A visit to the vet? The far cheaper option was to visit the pet shop where there were many Freddys. A miraculous resurrection occurred that day with Jesus nowhere in sight. Freddy II even had the same colouring.

Or, for an unintended consequence of an untruth: Chris, tired and worn out after a long day, asking his 8-year-old to please get him a sherry from the kitchen. After a few such days, the 8-year-old was dobbed in by older brother - apparently he was getting a sherry for dad on a "one-for-dad-one-for-me" basis.

The dear, sweet, innocent child brought his loving father a sherry. Dad takes a sip and says: "Hey mate - I asked you to get me a sherry. This is weed-killer." Crestfallen boy: "Oh no, now we're all going to die!"

There's the old saying: "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."

I will never forget the look on that dear boy's face.

Thankfully there has not been any alcoholism or other long-term consequences stemming from that shock, except, perhaps, that the dear boy has a leaning towards academia - a field where truth is relative or even optional in any case.