THE HAPPINESS JOURNEY: Pointers for being a human

GERMAN philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said: "Being human is a complicated gig" - and I couldn't agree more.

After working with humans for more than 10 years as a psychologist, being one for 35 years (oh, all right, 42 years) and making two other humans, I feel qualified to comment on the complexities of being human.

Others recognise the complexities, too. My friend recently posted on Facebook: "I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education, so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck?!"

The human condition has been studied and discussed throughout history.

William Shakespeare said: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages."

Increasingly I feel we are unable to live authentic human lives because we are caught up in the world's stage.

We are becoming puppets, consuming what we are told to consume, regurgitating words and ideas that have been planted by powerful people and dining on extravagance. Something has got to change.

I think it pays to remember what makes us human - so here are five reminders:

1. Don't judge others - you'll be a nicer human

Don't judge others. When you judge someone else you are defining yourself more than the other person. Instead of judging, seek to understand the other person's perspective. This will make you more empathic and an overall nicer human.

2. Treat others the way you want to be treated

The golden rule that I was taught as a child was: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. My parents said: "Imagine how you would feel if someone did that to you" and "If someone hurts your feelings then stand up for yourself, but don't go on the counter attack - two wrongs don't make a right." So treat others the way you want to be treated.

3. Give to others - you'll feel better, too

If someone is going through a tough time, don't run in the other direction. Be a human and give a fellow human a hand. Funny thing is that you both benefit from this act of generosity.

4. Give yourself a break and look after yourself

Give yourself a break. If you are having a tough time yourself, throw some compassion your way. We all make mistakes, we all get overwhelmed at times. The point is that being human is difficult, so be self-compassionate and look after yourself.

5. Don't compare yourself with others

We humans are as different as we are similar. When we compare ourselves to another human (eg, "I don't have as much money as Jo"; "I'm not as pretty as Mary"; "My kids aren't as successful as Anna's kids"), we forget the simple premise that we are as different as we are similar.

Try to only compare yourself with yourself, by striving to be a better person today than you were yesterday.

If you have forgotten how to be a human, go hang out with Ian Deanne (local police officer), he seems to have mastered this human gig.

-A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in wellbeing at Auckland University of Technology.