Terry Sarten: To properly connect turn away from screen and towards real people

Get off the screen and go and meet someone in real life

There is much being said about the state of the nation in terms of our suicide rates.

The debate about what should be done and how this can be changed is an important one. There is another word we should be using in this context - and that is connectedness.

Not in the way that social media would like us to think of being connected. Most social media sites want us to connect to them and their products, while learning more about us through data mining to improve their ability to sell us even more stuff wrapped in ideas and images that feed our deeply felt wish to be happy.

The Googles, Facebooks, Snapchats, Instagrams versions of being connected via a device, a screen, an app is a false one. Our devices are enabling us to do so much - almost anything - with very little actual face-to-face interaction with people.

This form of connectedness is a mirage. It lacks enough reality to make it plausible. It tricks people into believing they are connected when, in fact, face-to-face is where actual connections are made.

It is these real day-to-day connections that allow people to share the emotional content of their lives with others who can contribute to wellbeing.

We need to talk about how we connect with our family, friends, neighbours and community in a way that is meaningful - not hidden behind a screen but in conversations, an exchange of thoughts, experiences and stories. These may not always be easy conversations but they are more likely to be free of the vitriol and hate that roars out of the internet.

Anonymity is great place to hide and score points on the hate count. This is demeaning to all involved and increasingly a source of anxiety and distress for children, adolescents and adults alike.

Indirectly this subject leads to the recent statement from the Royal Australian College of Physicians voicing the need to make health equity a central focus of political action. This statement was endorsed by the Paediatric Society of NZ (of which I am a member) who see the face of inequality in the children presenting to services with treatable diseases linked to substandard housing, low incomes and struggling families.

They advocate for equity not as an abstract 'nice to have' concept but as a concrete strategy that recognises and responds to the increasing disparities across a range of dimensions that include education, incomes, health and the ability to fully participate in society. If inequity excludes some, we short-change their potential contribution to the future.

The RACP and PSNZ document calls for a political and social commitment to tackling inequities and ensuring all children do get their basic needs meet now.

The statement sets out some key steps, one being "making Healthy Housing the norm by introducing a regulation to mandate a Warrant of Fitness and Health for residential dwelling".

A second is "making Good Work the norm by promoting the Living Wage to support the health and wellness of employees and their whanau".

The third is "making Whnau Wellbeing the norm by taking a child-centred approach to all legislation, policy and regulation".

The last is crucial. It requires all political parties to "audit" policies, review the possible impact on children and challenge the inequalities that affect life outcomes for our young.

The statement calls on policymakers and leaders to make a real difference for our children and to us as citizens, to consider carefully how the political parties have positioned themselves.

*Terry Sarten is a writer, musician, social worker, father and grandfather - feedback: tgs@inspire.net.nz