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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Terry Sarten: Romeo and Juliet's love - it's just the oxytocin talking

By Terry Sarten
Whanganui Chronicle·
19 Feb, 2016 09:11 PM3 mins to read

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Romeo: "My love - where for art thou? Is it that the moon has seen your beauty and shunned the heavens out of spite?"

Barbara Fredrickson, psychologist/researcher University of North Carolina (aka Juliet): "When you say 'love' do you mean a 'micro-moment of positivity resonance?'

"If not, go away and read my book called Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do and Become."

Romeo: "Thou doth surely jest?

"Is not love that state which overcomes all obstacles including the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. That glorious intoxication of the heart that contests reason and challenges even the onslaught of time?"

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Barbara/Juliet: "No, it is not a long-lasting, continually present emotion that sustains a marriage; it is not the yearning and passion that characterises young love.

"It is a connection - a micro-moment you can share with a romantic partner, child or close friend - even briefly with a stranger."

Romeo: "Hast thou lost thy friggen mind from too much time mooching about on the balcony?

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"Love - the love I hold dear and gift to thee is not that of a micro-momento. Your words make it ring of something that doth pass as quickly as it enters the heart. It is in the kiss and care that wraps around love that we find hope and comfort.

"Micro-moment 'shmoment'. I take no comfort from this talk. It is love that drives me to stand and declare my heart to be forever thine."

Barbara/Juliet: "That's just the oxytocin talking. It is making you feel more open to connection that spikes during these micro-moments of positivity resonance.

"Your vagus nerve, which connects your brain to your heart stimulates tiny facial muscles that better enable you to make eye contact and synchronise your facial expression with another person, even adjusting the middle ear so you can better track my voice against any background noise."

Romeo: "Yea, therein doth rest a kernel of truth. I can hear you speaking - even above the sound and fury of your father shouting at me for standing in the garden."

Barbara/Juliet: "Studies show you can increase your vagal tone by self-generating love through loving-kindness meditation. This will increase your ability to experience more micro-moments of love. This will translate into health benefits.

"Love can dramatically alter your biochemistry in ways that perpetuates more micro-moments of love in your life and which ultimately contribute to your health, well-being and longevity."

Romeo: "Look to my face to see reflected therein my love for thee. The stars have designs on both our fates and William Shakespeare has already written the ending to this tale and longevity is not to be our providence. Much has been written and even more has been spoken about the natural force of love.

"Enough said - amongst my ragged collection of thoughts, I have also read Jonathan Haidt's book The Happiness Hypothesis, which undoes the grand mystery of love which, if defined as eternal passion, then it is biologically impossible.

"May there be a plague on both their publishing houses."

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Barbara/Juliet: "Love 2.0 lowers the bar for love. It allows us to accept that high-flown notions of eternal love are misleading. They diminish our capacity to connect in all the other ways that make life rewarding."

Romeo: "This tangled tale I hear you tell/ will end my loves unbroken spell. I will leave you now /and make a vow/ to love myself as well."

-Terry Sarten is a writer, musician driving a keyboard and creating without a valid poetic licence - feedback: tgs@inspire.net.nz.

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