Terry Sarten: Child's view of clouds certainly wins my vote

UP IN THE AIR: A Cancelattus Sportus cloud formation hovering over Auckland.

Like Joni Mitchell, I've looked at clouds from both sides now and found that what looked like a silver lining was actually a trick of the light.

The sky and mountains have always provided cues to thinking and, lately, the clouds have provided much to ponder.

The horizon has often presented a glowering frown of grumpy clouds that threaten as they pass. They hang about like an unwanted visitor until eventually they move on, sometimes leaving wet footprints behind to show where they have been.

Then there are the light fluffy ones that scoot about like errant children playing with the wind, while another kind of cloud parks right in front of the sun, casting a shadow for what seems an age before moving with a kind of reluctance - like a person blocking the footpath who eventually realises they are in your way.

Clouds have names like altocumulus, altostratus or nimbostratus - these are scientific nomenclature, terms that describe their place on the cloud hierarchy. Clouds names are divided into the low cloud types cumulus, stratus, and stratocumulus and high clouds are called cirrus, cirrocumulus, and cirrostratus.

There is a need for something more descriptive. For example, the Gaelic language has "Na nalta geala bna" for the bright white clouds and "agas na scamallaigh dubha dna" for the bad dark clouds. The ability to pronounce these cloud types without the aid of a Guinness has limited the use of these descriptions so I thought it might be useful for us in New Zealand - the land of the very long white clouds - to invent our own set of names.

The clouds we see in the early dawn, glowing red with promise of a fine day ahead should be called Morningus Optimistus to denote the traditional forgetting, then regretting not taking a raincoat when leaving the house.

The Cirrocumulus Longus Blackus is the black cloud that appears as you drive round and round the block past the takeaway coffee place searching for a place to park. These ominous dark shapes can build, growing ever blacker, hovering directly over the heads of the caffeine-deprived until the middle of the day when the Nimbus Flatus Whitus brings a change to the outlook.

Then there are special clouds only visible from office windows mid-afternoon on a Friday when the photocopier has jammed and the computer has crashed. Always fluffy, light, they float free across an otherwise clear blue sky revelling in their freedom - and these are the Dayoffostratus that allow workers to believe in the great hoax called a fine weekend.

Saturdays have their own cloud formations: Cancelattus Sportus heralding rain and possibly hail and, of course, the Lettustayinbedus which is often welcomed by many and lamented by the few who think that it will only encourage weeds in the garden.

The best kind of clouds are the type that children are particularly good at identifying, possibly because they tend to lie on their backs looking at the sky more than grown-ups. These are known as Cumulonimbus Guesswhatshapeitis and take on the shape of objects or animals.

They have a way of presenting themselves in different forms to viewers that can often lead to fierce disputes. What to one upturned gaze is clearly shaped like a rabbit will appear to another's eyes as definitely a swan seen from an unusual angle.

If every cloud does have a silver lining, then we should be doing some blue sky mining.

The proposed new NZ flag designs do not include any reference to our weather. Some countries have climate but we have weather, so the new flag could have a sun peeping out from behind a long white cloud on a sky blue background, raindrops in one corner with the prevailing wind giving it added zest as it flies on flagpoles around the country.

- Terry Sarten is a Wanganui-based writer, musician and satirista - feedback: tgs@inspire.net.nz