Terry Sarten: Bonds of love play to many different tunes

Opus Orchestra will perform a piece written by Tauranga-born composer, Martin Lodge, this weekend. Photo: SUPPLIED BTG 16Jul15 - Opus Orchestra will perform a piece written by Tauranga-born compos

THE PAST week has included a series of family dinners and a wedding celebration. It has been wonderful to have the children, their wives/partners plus grandchildren all in the same place at the same time.

At one stage, in a quiet moment I got to ask the daughter how things were going with her bloke. "Is it violins or more of a tuba kind of relationship?" I asked. She responded with a grin and said it was more like a mandolin. Some years ago she had pointed out (I was playing my mandolin at the time) that she felt it was a happy instrument - no matter how maudlin the mandolin chord being played, it always sounded cheerful and made her smile.

This raised one of the important questions to be addressed as we enter a New Year: If your relationship is a musical instrument, which one would it be?

If it is usually serene with soaring tone but gets screechy if put under too much tension then maybe it is a violin relationship. When played well it can be wonderful but temperamental, being very sensitive to changes in environment and room temperature.

If a relationship was more akin to cymbals then the clashing required might become a bit much.

Someone chimed in at this point to note that the only way to get a tune out of a piano accordion was to squeeze it - which was perhaps a metaphor too far for some relationships. You have to keep squeezing it to make it work and it really needs wing mirrors mounted on the sides so you can see what your hands are doing.

By way of contrast the harmonica relationship is smaller but limited by the fact it requires the player to both suck and blow to get anything out if it.

Of course, the matter of the eternal triangle was brought up as this often plays a part in the orchestration of a marriage. The "tingle tangle" of the triangle was deemed a solo instrument and very difficult for three people to play at once and no one could recall the last time they had heard of a successful triangle trio.

It was felt that a relationship that played like a banjo would not be subtle and discreet but loud and bright with a complete lack of sustain. In musical terms, the banjo is, along with the accordion, an instrument people either like or loath. Paired together, some would regard any combination of banjo and accordion as a diabolic mix that can only lead to some kind of hillbilly family feud.

If a relationship was described as a tuba, all "oompah oompah" in bass notes then it may mean it is one in which the couple march to the same tune even though it may be leading them to a battle.

The bagpipe relationship would already be on the battlefield with friends and family retreating to get as far away as possible as it can be intimidating when standing too close.

Is your relationship a piano? The piano relationship with its mechanical workings hidden away means that sometimes when you lift the lid you discover there is a lot going on out of sight. They are big, heavy and hard to move, and when you do shift them they immediately go out of tune.

If your relationship seems to be more of a ukulele - small, easy to carry and simple to play - then this will provide some compensation for its complete lack of acceptance as an actual musical instrument.

-Terry Sarten is a musician, writer, husband, father and grandfather - feedback: tgs@inspire.net.nz.