Summer survival guide for parents

EVOLVING: Riley Young and a butterfly - a summer of reflection. Photo/Supplied

WITH the familiar sounds of the Mr Whippy ice cream van cruising past, I'm reflecting on my parenting approach - my tips on surviving summer holidays with young'uns.

First off, make sure it's years before your children recognise the Mr Whippy tune - they're eating enough crap without having a Pavlov's dog reaction to hearing Greensleeves on the street.

But yes, a relaxed attitude to the normal attempt at a maintaining balanced diet with more than a hint of vegetables is in order, along with a similar attitude to bedtime of 7.30pm.

My boys are only 5 and 3 so staying up until it's dark and running around with cousins and honorary cousins is a special treat. I'm getting insights into their growing independence - oh they're independent now, and quite forcefully so, but not able to be completely unsupervised.

I got another fright this holidays - turns out this watch-your-children-while-they-are-swimming is not something to be taken lightly.

At a friend's house, eight of the nine children were in the pool but Mr Three couldn't touch the bottom so we let him sit around the edge while we watched from a few metres away. Except at one point, he tripped and tumbled into the pool - and I had my back to the pool. Luckily my dear friend saw it happen, screamed so we ran and pulled him up instantly.

If she hadn't seen it happen, I don't know that any of the kids playing would have noticed his head under the surface, or how quickly I would have realised he wasn't in sight anymore, and it doesn't take long. A scary reminder that supervising near water needs to be active and hands-on.

Back to the joys of Christmas, is it better to eat your swag of sweets all at once, or drag it out over a week, with chocolate dribbling down your chin whilst claiming you haven't been into them again?

Naps are very important - mainly for mum and dad! It is hard to cope with sugar-activated yet desperately tired children. Sleep helps, even if the sleep is in beds dusted with a light coating of Taranaki black sand.

Don't skimp on sunscreen. Sunburn is a bad idea. I do wonder how people on low incomes afford sunscreen though - it is a big item in the grocery bill and you chew through it now summer has arrived in earnest.

Shade is a great option - we have bought a sun cover for the trampoline so the middle of the day is no longer burn-central at our place.

Our swan plant is on to its second extended family of Monarch butterflies - the last chrysalis has hatched and we have seen two butterflies laying eggs and are scanning for miniature caterpillars emerging.

We have also been picking and eating our new peas after planting them with the kids a while ago - while I may be a proud Green Party member, my greenness does not extend to my thumbs. The garden survives through grit and determination, not through loving attention.

Getting outside into nature is so important but let's not get judgmental about technology. We were grateful for the distraction of electronic devices while out at dinner with the kids and I felt no shame in taking the opportunity to have (brief!) adult conversation while the children entertained themselves. Plus they decided to sit underneath the table - a step beyond "children should be seen and not heard"!

I don't really believe in that old fashioned saying though and, in fact, feel somewhat uncomfortable around children who have been neutralised into good behaviour. Yes to manners and respect, but no to crushing children's spirit and confidence through the fear of "a hiding".

I can't imagine being proud of having quiet, well-behaved children because they're scared of their parents hurting them. What an odd approach to helping little humans grow into big humans.

A quote from influential Italian educator Maria Montessori summarises my philosophy: "Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future."