Steve Braunias: Secret Diary of the ascension of Jacinda Ardern

ANDREW LITTLE

I said to Jacinda on Monday night, "I'm tired."

She said, "You don't look tired."

I said, "No, I'm tired. Exhausted. These bloody polls...Look at me! I'm a wreck."

She said, "You're not a wreck. You're just tired."

I said, "You said I didn't look tired! Next you'll be saying, 'You look a wreck!'"

She said, "We're all on edge. These bloody polls."

I said, "You don't look tired, though. You look great."

She said, "I don't know about that! Anyway. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day."

BILL ENGLISH

I said to Gerry on Tuesday morning, "I hear Little's staying. Great news for us!"

He said, "Where did you hear that?"

I said, "Radio New Zealand are calling that he's going to stay on as leader."

Gerry said, "The Herald are calling that he's going to step down."

I said, "They've got it wrong. And political commentator Bryce Edwards put on Twitter this morning that a Labour source told him that Little has said, 'F**k it, I'm going to fight'."

Gerry said, "Well, if it was on Twitter then it must be true."

I said, "Are you being sarcastic?"

I got a text. It was just one word: ARDERN.

I heard Gerry saying, "Bad news?"

I said, "What makes you think that?"

He looked down on me, and said, "You fainted."

MARK RICHARDSON

I said on The AM Show on Wednesday morning, "Is Jacinda Ardern planning on having a baby?

"I think it's a legitimate question for New Zealand, because she could be the Prime Minister leading this country. She has our best interests at heart. We need to know these things.

"If you're the employer at a company, you need to know that type of thing from the women you're employing."

She pointed her finger at me, right at my face, and said, "It is unacceptable in 2017 that women should have to answer that question in the workplace. Totally unacceptable."

I can't believe she pointed her finger at me. That's so rude.

MIKE HOSKING

I said on Mike's Minute yesterday, "Jacinda Ardern, if she really wanted to be leader, would have been better to wait until after the election. If they'd lost she would have had three clean years to sort things out.

"Will you vote for Labour because Little has gone and Ardern has been promoted? My guess is no.

"She has a credibility issue. She's never been in Government, never been in Cabinet, never run anything. She potentially goes from an Opposition MP to Prime Minister. That's quite the leap and quite the risk.

"I'm not sure how relatable she is to middle New Zealand."

Today I vacuumed my white Audi R8.

ANDREW LITTLE

I caught up with Jacinda on Friday morning.

She said, "How are you?"

I said, "I'm okay."

She said, "You look rested."

I said, "I've been getting a lot of sleep."

She said, "Lucky you! I must look a wreck."

"You don't, actually," I said. "I mean it. You look great."