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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Selfless and selfish - a balance

Shirley-Joy Barrow
Wanganui Midweek·
21 Feb, 2021 09:13 PM3 mins to read

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"We all need that selfless person, someone willing to jump into our darkness and drag us out of it – even when they get nothing in return." — From "The Unfinished Story" by Boo Walker.

Writing books and reading books go well together. Boo Walker started as a songwriter and banjoist in Nashville, before buying a gentleman's farm in the Washington State on the Yakima River among the grapevines where he fell in love with telling stories.

Selfless people come into our lives, and we hear about heroes and good sorts who give up their time to help others. Being selfless is all about thinking of others before yourself and giving to others without looking for personal gain. When we help others, others are more helpful to us. People's needs are met and their desires filled. When we let other people feel needed, we spread goodness around.

My Angels tell me there needs to be a balance between being selfish and selfless and that both can be overdone. Being selfish or self-absorbed is thinking about what makes us feel good at the moment and we don't have any respect or regard for anyone else, then we wonder why our relationships fail.

Selflessness helps us identify and connect with others and that is rewarding. It helps squash our egos because we are not acting out of pride or for a desire to be noticed. We act from our heart and soul instead of our ego, we tap into our true feelings.

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If we don't take care of our needs, we take care of others in a less efficient way and spread ourselves thin to appease others. It is okay to take a break when you need to and allow yourself to say no sometimes. It is also important we don't give up so much of ourselves, give everything away, let ourselves have those treats sometimes.

Sacrificing is a noble thing, parents have to do it all the time. Allow yourself to have things too, to get help and to have your needs met because you are worth so much and more.

Eleanor Brown said: "You cannot serve from an empty vessel." She advises us that: "Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow."

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Maybe this coming week we can practise being selfless. Spread joy to others. When our soul is giving, we end up getting more than we anticipate. Arohanui.

Shirley-Joy

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