Screw-ups not something we need to avoid

Scott Lee columnist

I HOPE I screw this up!

Really Scott?! Don't you mean I hope I don't fail?

No, I don't intend to screw it up, but I hope I do! Because if I do, I will learn and I will grow.

It is incredibly freeing as a concept. The expectation is, if I "fail" that's okay, it's what I hoped would happen.

Now, before you go and turn the page because you're thinking 'he's gone crazy', imagine this for a minute:

I start a difficult task, perhaps something at work that I've only done once before and I'm concerned, "what if I get this wrong?" What are the consequences of getting it wrong? I might lose my job, I might not be able to feed my family, I might lose the house.

A lot of fear can come up like this and it can hold us back, we can stop making decisions, stop taking risks and ultimately hunker down and play small.

Can we ever progress in our job with this thinking? Can we relax and enjoy our journey? Can we be happy?

Sometimes, but often there's a nagging doubt - a "what if".

The part of us that has to be right, that can't admit we are wrong and does not want to fail is our ego, the piece that says 'I hope I don't fail'.

So what if we did screw it up, what really are the consequences? Often when I ask people this they say, "I'll learn something, either what not to do or how to do something I didn't know before" or "I'll create a little wastage".

As long as no one got hurt, life is good in these moments and we have more knowledge to use.

Holding this concept comes from a place of no fear, I am safe, I can achieve anything, but sometimes I need to screw it up to "graduate" my learning to the next level.

Four years ago, I was playing it small a lot of the time, I believed I could not allow myself to fail, if I lost my job I would lose my identity and if I was not the best, I was nothing.

I lived in an apartment block with two electronically sealed doors between me and the outside world, I was 100m from work, 300m from the supermarket, with beer, Sky TV and an oven. I let very few in to see who I was.

Gradually I changed from this playing small, fear-driven place of "what if bad things happen and I fail to live up to others' expectations and be the best".

These days, I try things out knowing that I might screw it up, but that's okay, because when I do (and I will fail at times - this is guaranteed in life), I know that I will learn and grow. Accepting that I may fail has freed me to be a better me than I was before.

I now live in Whanganui, a great place by the sea and close to the mountain. I teach in Whanganui, Palmerston North and Sydney. I am about to start teaching in Wellington and I have found what I love to do.

But I have failed and screwed up along the way and I wouldn't be doing what I love if I hadn't.

My love is teaching ideas that help people connect more with their loved ones and themselves and accept that they are awesome just the way they are.

I love seeing people learning new ideas about money, something we all know what we can use it for, but something we often don't want to screw up.

When we are confident with our money, we are confident in ourselves and it is a good thing to screw up and learn from - I screwed up with money many times and it always got put back together in a better way (in hindsight).

This concept, I hope I screw it up, changes the meaning we give to events like, 'I didn't fail', instead of 'I failed, bad me!' And it means "there is no reason to judge myself or others about our failures". It just frees us to create the life we want.

It's magic and it leads to greater happiness when we know that our screw-ups actually allow us to grow and be the best we can be. I hope I screw up this week. What is it you want to screw up this week?

-If you would like to attend my Financial Freedom Workshops starting in late June, call me on 027 236 7729 or email me at scott@loveandmoneynetwork.com