Parents dream of a full night's sleep

NOT SO EASY: Getting into a nightly routine can be tricky.

This week we decided to look at another of those tricky parenting issues that affect families, sleeping through the night. For some families sleeping is an easy, pleasant routine but for many others it is an exhausting time filled with uncertainty that can lead to anxiety.

Broken or lack of sleep can feel like torture for some parents and we know that children's health, development and behaviour is reliant on them getting sufficient sleep.

Parents who have been through this stage will tell you that they do eventually get into a routine and everyone gets sleep. If you are regularly getting up in the night, remember to use the babies or children's sleeping time during the day as your rest time, too.

Here are some things to think about and try when you and your little ones aren't getting enough sleep.

Try to stick to a relaxed bed time routine. It might include feeding, bathing, massage, singing or a story.

Be alert to signs of over-tiredness as it can make settling them much harder.

Try and put them to bed when they are relaxed and sleepy but not asleep.

Use soothing techniques such as gentle stroking, singing or a reassuring hand on their back. Soft background music may help.

Leave the room and give them a chance to learn to go to sleep without you present.

If they still aren't settling

Don't rush back if they grizzle; wait to see if the tone is getting louder or quieter

Check the vitals. Clean, dry, warm, not hungry - all okay? Try the soothing techniques again.

Try to avoid eye contact; be gentle yet firm when your child needs sleep.

Keep a sleep diary for a week to get a picture of their sleeping and waking patterns.

Things to think about

Sometimes we expect babies and young children to be more settled than they can be, for example 75 per cent of NZ 1-year-olds wake once or more a night.

Sleeping habits will change as babies grow. Newborns need responsive night parenting.

Don't assume the longer they're awake the quicker they'll settle and longer they'll sleep.

Your child can learn to go to sleep without you if that is what you want; it just takes time.

Sickness, teething, new experiences and changes in routines can all affect sleep patterns.

Disruptions to routine can happen, for example travel or illness. You can go back to the routine when life settles down.

Things children might be thinking

"Where's mum gone she was here a moment ago when I fell asleep on her?"

"I can hear everyone talking and laughing and having a good time in the lounge without me."

"Now that's better. I wondered where my blanky had gone."

Remember that it's a short time in your child's life when they need you a lot. If you have more than one pre-schooler, make sure that you factor in quiet times to your day so everyone gets time to rest. If that isn't possible ask a close family member or friend to mind your pre-schooler for an afternoon a week until you catch up a bit.

If you are needing support, help is available at the Wanganui Plunket Family Centre, ph 345 2011

For more parenting tips and strategies contact Liza or Lynette at S.K.I.P (Strategies for Kids and Information for Parents) phone or text 027 626 1404, or email skipwanganui@xtra.co.nz.