I used to have a crystal shop in Whanganui about 25 years ago called "The Seventh Ray". I chose the name because it represented what we "new agers" at the time referred to as the Violet Flame of Transformation.
Sounds a little dramatic now but at the time, resonated with me completely. Fast forward 25 years and a heap of good and not so great experiences (it's called life), I now see that the opportunity for any sort of personal transformation isn't outside of me, but rather lies within me, and is "on tap". Back then I was dependent on crystals, celestial events, stages of the Moon, positive affirmations, happiness through another person, or basically anything apart from looking at my own internal responses.
I was a reactor to life which for me gave me very little self-efficacy and empowerment. I try not to judge myself for what I've done or not done in the past, as it was all relative and reflective of my emotional maturity at the time. Hindsight is great, but useless apart from traction to learn from.
I have no regrets, and respect and appreciate the fact that without constantly beating a drum which didn't work for me, I would not have discovered it when I found the one that did. That point became my starting place or my point of consciously creating what I want. It still does. It also led me to having more of an understanding around the symbology of the koru, the spiral symbol, or "the hero's journey", which I see as representing one in the same.
Transformation being an eternal cycle, with one part leading to the next, or one spark of inspiration within us leading us to our next and so on. Twenty-five years ago I was far more "external" focused, there was no one teaching or showing me how to bring the external and my own internal worlds together in a practical way.
I didn't recognise that I was off-balance and needed to bring practicality to my conceptual world. What's helped me bridge this was in the world of neuroscience, and learning about the feeling/thinking cycle and how my subconscious beliefs have a huge part to play in my decision making.