Rugby strongman Ray Parr, who died on July 15, with his late wife Iris. Photo / Supplied
Rugby strongman Ray Parr, who died on July 15, with his late wife Iris. Photo / Supplied
Raymond Stanley (Rocky) Parr was largely a product of his time.
Born at Tokomaru, in the Horowhenua on August 22, 1930, he was the middle of three children born to Harold Roland Parr and Phyllis Irene Matilda Morgan. Ray sadly passed away after a brief battle with melanoma on July15, 2020, just weeks shy of his 90th birthday.
Like many of his era, a hard-working individual brought up in a typical rural Kiwi environment, Ray developed a reputation as a hard man with a much softer, caring side not readily obvious to the casual observer.
Ray initially attended Tokomaru School but transferred to Bulls Primary School when father Harold gained employment at Ohakea Air Base. When it came to secondary school, Ray attended Palmerston North Technical College and travelled by bus from Ohakea to Palmerston North each day.
He was clearly interested in rugby from an early age. At the Bulls School, at the age of 9 or 10 he was the captain, coach and manager of the school rugby team and head shepherd of the team biking from Bulls to Sanson to play rugby.
The 89-year-old former Māori All Back was a front row prop in the Wanganui-King Country combined side that upset the British Isles 12-6 54 years ago in 1966. He was also a handy boxer in his younger days, hence the nickname "Rocky" after world heavyweight champion Rocky Marciano.
Ray "Rocky" Parr in his Maori All Blacks strip. Photo / Supplied
But it was in rugby that Ray Parr was to make his sporting mark and it was from his homes around Raetihi that the former forester, farmer and hotelier repped for King Country and later coached for Wanganui, as former longtime Whanganui Chronicle sports editor JB Phillips so eloquently documented in his tribute to the man in the Whanganui Midweek community newspaper last Wednesday. Read more here.
However, it was those formative years that combined to create the real character that became the grown-up Ray Parr.
In his eulogy at Te Puke Marae in Raetihi last Monday, son Larry Parr recounted some of those incidents that perhaps made his father the man he was.
"Unfortunately, well maybe it wasn't so unfortunate, Ray's schooling came to rather an abrupt end when he had a run in with his maths teacher, one Mr Stevenson," Larry told the congregation.
"Many of you will know that dad had a fairly well-defined notion of what he thought was 'just' behaviour. That meant he often felt obliged to enforce his view of appropriate behaviour.
"Stevenson thought dad was deserving of the cane; dad, for good reason, held a contrary view, refused to take the cane and when Stevenson attempted to enforce his position, dad relieved him of the cane and broke it in two.
"It had ramifications. There were letters; the school demanded the 14-year-old Ray return to school. Ray refused [he was only a couple of months shy of the legal leaving age of 15 years] and when the school threatened legal action Ray, in the words of uncle Henry, 'disappeared'. His mother spirited him off to Raetihi to stay with her sister, Aunty Valda Carmichael. That was it, he never returned to Horowhenua, other than to inflict pain on his whanaunga on the rugby field."
Ray found work in Raetihi, loading metal trucks (by shovel), labouring on farms, working in the bush and fencing.
He played his first game of rugby for the Raetihi Senior Team in 1946 at the age of 16. It was nine years later, in 1955, that he first made the King Country representative team. He and Colin Meads made their debut for King Country the same day, although Colin was some seven years younger. In the same year Ray was selected and played for New Zealand Māori.
He also operated the Raetihi Hotel between 1984 and 1993 before moving to Whanganui East in 1993 for retirement with his wife Iris.
Ray Parr, who had also been a quality cricket player in his youth, was elected a life member of the Ruapehu Rugby and Sports Club.
He enjoyed some success as a Wanganui rugby selector along with future All Black coach JJ Stewart and Ron McPhun in 1970-71 and with McPhun and Brian Murphy in 1972.
Ray was the captain/coach of the Ruapehu Sub-Union senior team that in 1966 had an undefeated run of 20 games.
On April 14, 1951, Ray married Iris Dawn Dauphin and they raised a family of four children, Larry, Les, Bruce and Chanel.
The Parr whānau had a tough year in1967. In early March, they tragically lost daughter and sister Chanel, who died as result of a motor vehicle accident just down the hill from Te Puke Marae. As you would expect, they were all devastated, but for Ray and Iris the agony of that loss remained close to the surface for a very long time.
Then in August Ray had a serious accident in the bush.
Larry said, as kids, they knew it was serious.
"We weren't allowed to go up to the hospital to see him; but it's only over the last week or so, while sitting with uncle Henry at dad's bedside, that I learned just how horrific the sight would have been," Larry said.
"While he was a strict disciplinarian, I only ever got one hiding; I was about 5. The thing is, I think the thought of disappointing dad was incentive enough for us.
"We've been really fortunate to have had Ray, dad, 'Pop Ray' amongst us all for as long as we have. Not just us three boys, but our extended family, our other brothers and sisters and their children. We will miss him. I know from the experience of losing mum it will be years before I will stop saying 'I must ask dad about that'."
