Nurturing respectful relationships

The White Ribbon parade this week reminds us of the inherent need to promote, practise and nurture respectful relationships, not just for ourselves but for our community.

LAST year's White Ribbon parade. PICTURE / PAUL BROOKS

It's my belief that relationships with others and our significant others are fundamental to our existence; no man or woman is an island. Of course it's always easier to give lip service to what we think is a healthy relationship but harder to put into practice and demonstrate, especially for those who have had no healthy role models. Respect and mutuality in any relationship go hand in hand, one can not exist without the other. If we don't respect someone then we are really saying that we are not interested in them or that they have nothing of worth to say. Respecting and listening to others sends the message "you matter to me" and when respect and mutuality are present in relationships, it should be comfortable to communicate how we feel and to be received in an open and respectful manner.

For some folk, it can be dangerous to communicate needs for fear of repercussion. This is a red flag for some immediate attention and/or action if there is the capability to do so. I dream of the day when we have a society which prepares us through early education about what and how to fill our own needs in a healthy and sustainable way whilst maintaining our position in the environment we live in.

Relationship courses in schools would be awesome! This can only increase our levels of self awareness, self efficacy and ultimately our confidence. We can benefit so much to learn how to nurture and care for ourselves so that when we have any sort of relationships we don't position 'others' or significant others as our primary energy source — WE remain our primary source of power and 'others' simply enhance what we already know about ourselves. Others can also be our greatest teachers by exposing where we lose power, and ideally together we should be able to support each other to become more than what we thought we were or what we were taught we were when we were younger.

Relationships should ideally compliment each other, which doesn't mean that they are without conflict, but rather the conflict is something to be explored together to use as a springboard for growth. We all seek to feel fulfilled and connected in one way or another and relationships can be our greatest medium to achieve empowerment through each other. While as children we have little or no control, as adults living in the country that we do, no one should ever be asked to sacrifice anything ever again but we may need to make some changes to achieve that.

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