My biggest worry should be how many of the squares I can nail on the "guilty mum" bingo sheet (quite a few to be honest, eg, "failed to cherish every moment today" and "phone at park"). Instead I'm feeling both frustrated and relieved that a Housing New Zealand house was taken off the market to house a woman and her three children who were sleeping in a car.
My priorities should be making sure my 5-year-old doesn't eat too much crap while at the school disco tonight, not thinking about the Australian Government making it legally difficult for social workers and doctors to speak out about abuse of refugee children on Nauru.
I should be trying to find a pinata for my son's birthday party that he can smash with his friends, instead of feeling sad about the latest domestic violence campaign - getting hairdressers to help ask the question: "Are you OK?"
The level of violence in our society, including Wanganui if you read the court pages (and that's only the incidents that make it to court), is unacceptable. Living in fear is wrong.
There are a lot of "shoulds" in this column, but I'm not only feeling downbeat. I'm also conscious of how we can all make a difference through positive thoughts and actions.
Now it's a hell of a lot easier for me to follow this school of thought - I'm a third-generation non-smacking parent. This approach to life is not new to me. I haven't had to reprogramme my thinking when irritated or angry.
If you follow the BrainWave Trust messages, you'll know that the neural pathways in our brains formed in our first three years remain influential throughout our lives. If we are exposed to stress and violence when young, our brains remember that pattern and it affects how we react in the future even when facing small levels of stress.
We can change our patterns of behaviour - and those refugees who find asylum and live inspirational lives are evidence of this - but it's easier not to have fight against it in the first place.
And there is so much evidence of good in the world, particularly with the incredible response to the floods in Wanganui - so many people volunteering and donating.
There is a lot of care in our communities.
But we need more from our Government in particular. The impact of policies and funding changes on all our children should be top priority.
Caring for our kids is not only an immediate moral or human rights issue, there is a selfish driver, too.
Healthy, kind and well-balanced New Zealanders will do a better job of looking after us in our old age.
As Dame Whina Cooper said: "Take care of our children. Take care of what they hear, take care of what they see, take care of what they feel. For how the children grow, so will be the shape of Aotearoa."
-Nicola Young has worked in the government and private sectors in Australia and NZ and now works from home in Taranaki for a national charitable foundation. Educated at Wanganui Girls' College, she has a science degree and is the mother of two boys.
