Nicola Patrick: Tragic death tells us to make the most of life now

Make the most of it ... you don t know how long you ve got.

Leaving Raetihi for Whanganui on Sunday afternoon, a fire engine roared by. My boys were excited about the sirens but I naively hoped it was an exercise.

Then two police cars went screaming past us, headed for the Parapara ... the boys thought a burglary, but I worried it was a serious car accident.

We followed behind at my more conservative pace until we saw the action on the other side of the river, down on a paddock. It was opposite a major slip, and there was a car positioned awkwardly, facing the wrong direction on the road.

I couldn't work out what had happened until I got home and read online the tragic death of a man who stopped to help clear a rockfall.

We could have - should have - been right there. I was running about half an hour late, having stopped on the side of the road for a micro-sleep on the way (those little breaks work, by the way).

It's set off thinking in me about mortality and loss and making the most of life now - and I'm finding examples everywhere.

At last week's amazing Thrive Expo, speaker Kendal Collins from Sisters United talked about the loss of her child prompting her to follow her dream to make a difference for young Maori and Pasifika women.

At this week's Whanganui Women in Business event, our panellists talked about their heroes. Two talked in particular about their grandmothers, the struggles they had faced and the strength they had displayed.

My friend's mum has been diagnosed with stage-four cancer after seven years in remission, and she has started treatment to hopefully give her a bit longer with her grandchildren. Another friend has been made redundant and is going through the sadness of telling her shocked team.

And my friend's 12-year-old godson has died of a rare cancer this week. She has already raised $13,000 to go towards his funeral costs, helping his family in a practical way. You can donate - search for "Aiden" on www.givealittle.co.nz

This is pretty heavy stuff but it was balanced by receiving two articles this week, the first from Buddhist writer Pema Chödrön entitled The Universal Dilemma.

"The source of our unease is the unfulfillable longing for a lasting certainty and security, for something solid to hold on to. Unconsciously we expect that if we could just get the right job, the right partner, the right something, our lives would run smoothly. When anything unexpected or not to our liking happens, we think something has gone wrong…

"We are never encouraged to experience the ebb and flow of our moods, of our health, of the weather, of outer events - pleasant and unpleasant - in their fullness. Instead we stay caught in a fearful, narrow holding pattern of avoiding any pain and continually seeking comfort."

The second continued the theme, this time focused on non-attachment theory, written by Raffaello Manacorda.

"Non-attachment is a state of mind that will help you both in times of joy and sorrow.

"Life is a mixture of pleasure and pain, of comfort and hardship. We cling to pleasure, hoping that it will never leave, and we are overwhelmed by pain, fearing that it will never end.

"By practicing non-attachment, we become able to endure difficult moments with a certain sense of humour, knowing that - as a wise saying goes - this too shall pass.

"In the same way, we can enjoy the beautiful moments of life without being tainted by the fear that they will end - as they undoubtedly will."

For me, I'm pondering this deep and meaningful stuff and converting to my own, simplified interpretation.

Take care of yourself right now - apply your oxygen mask first in the case of emergencies, otherwise you're no use to anyone.

Swim at the beach, take a photo of that amazing sky, chase that passion, and find time for some simple moments with your loved ones. We really don't know how long we've got.

■ Nicola Patrick is a Horizons regional councillor, works for Te Kaahui o Rauru and is part of a new social enterprise hub, Thrive Whanganui. A mother of two boys, she has a science degree and is a Green Party member.