Yes, breasts can be part of a sexual relationship, and sometimes women display their breasts as part of making themselves feel attractive – or simply because they're big-breasted and it's a natural consequence of wearing clothes. However, does it need to be said that even when a woman is choosing to wear something revealing, even body paint, clear and enthusiastic agreement is needed before you can touch?
Unfortunately, there are still people around happy to share their opinion that "she was asking for it" and "if she didn't want to be touched, she should have covered up", so maybe it is necessary.
It isn't a simple question because of the way we, of how society, view women's bodies, particularly young women's bodies. Newsflash: women are assaulted regardless of what they are wearing. There is an ownership of women's bodies, breasts in particular, that comes with layers of judgement.
Putting it in a wider context though, how often do we read of yet another breastfeeding mum being shamed into covering up or literally forced out of a venue due to someone's overly puritan view of a natural and seriously handy way to feed babies. Breasts have been commandeered as public property and this glitter incident is only the latest.
This time the woman in question hit back. She chased down the stranger that assaulted her and slapped him in the face. I've never been a fan of violence and not sure if this is technically self-defence as apparently the man who groped her did it from behind and ran away.
But I've been pondering it – maybe direct action is needed and it actually is self-defence. Maybe she stopped further unwanted touching by making it clear that her boobs were not fair game.
I'm not the only one: @gnat wrote "Discussing #glitterboob. Someone asked, "what will you tell your daughter if she wants to wear glitter instead of a bra to a music festival?" Me: "Don't smack a dude, use your fist – thumb on the outside!" Jenine: "Use extra sunscreen. Slip slop slap!"" I like the combination of practical and sun-wise advice.
If you're someone who thinks the young woman got what she deserved, then it's time to stop and take a hard look at why. As @bootstheory put it: ""She should have covered up" means "it was her fault." "What did she expect him to do?" means "it was her fault." "What he did was wrong, but… " means "it was her fault."
Don't blame her – she didn't cause her assault. We need to grow up about boobs and put the blame where it belongs – with the man who grabbed her without consent.
In 2018, let's stop talking about how we raise our daughters and, instead, talk about how we raise our sons.
Nicola Patrick is a councillor at Horizons Regional Council, works for Te Kaahui o Rauru and is part of a new social enterprise hub, Thrive. A mum of two boys, she has a science degree and is a Green Party member.
