While I haven't studied psychology, this health revelation reminds me of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. That's the pyramid that starts at the bottom with life's basics - food, shelter, warmth, then moves up to safety and freedom from fear, then love and belonging, then self-esteem, and finally the pinnacle of self-actualisation, that not many achieve.
Having a place to live is a foundation stone and in New Zealand we have families living in cars, in garages, crammed in with relatives. The consequences of this are significant, especially for children and their health, let alone how it affects moving up the pyramid to self-esteem.
We can't skip the basics - people need a place to live. What's happened to our country when people end up in debt to WINZ for the cost of emergency housing in a motel because there are no other options left for them? How many unplanned nights in a motel could you afford before it became a millstone around your neck?
The other layer in Maslow's hierarchy that's come to me this week has been freedom from fear. I've been impressed by the new "It's Not OK" campaign against domestic violence on TV. The messages are getting specific and I hope they cut through to both men and women - things like "It's not OK to say she was asking for it" and "It's not OK to control your family with threats", both followed with "but it is OK to ask for help".
Seeing this so soon after the devastating death of three-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri, I want to believe it will have impact. I read a Radio Live interview with Children's Commissioner Dr Russell Wills talking about Moko.
He said: "Say you know that your neighbour or your friend or someone in your family is in a violent relationship. The first thing to tell them is that you care about them and you're worried for them ... follow with an 'I notice that you're sad' or 'he's been really angry and started to become more aggressive' ... Then you need to ask, 'Are you safe at home?' And often people go, 'yeah, we're safe' but you'll get a clue. They'll be a bit hesitant."
Dr Wills said you then need to ask the specific question - "Is anyone hurting anyone" ... "Is anyone hurting the kids?"
We've got to step out of our comfort zones and show concern for our friends and neighbours by asking these questions, rather than rage once it's too late for another child like Moko.
-Call the Family Violence Information Line (0800 456 450) available 9am to 11pm, seven days a week, if you need help.
Nicola Patrick has worked in the public, private and charitable sectors in Australia and New Zealand. Educated at Whanganui Girls' College, she has a science degree and is the mother of two boys. She is standing for Horizons Regional Council in October.
