Nicola Patrick: Dole out some kindness - even to those behaving badly

LAUNCH PAD: A couple of youngsters ready for a dip at Mosquito Point.

Choose kindness. In the crazy slide into the home base of the year end, don't forget kindness.

It's easy with my kids, funnily enough as children are pretty demanding and mine are no different. I guess it's because they are children and my expectations are that they'll be tired at the end of the day, end of the term, end of the school year.

My boys pleasantly surprised me this week though. I had to step up and pretend I knew something about touch, even though it's 20 years since I played one season for a social team.

It was the last game of the year and with no coach or manager there to guide the kids, I kicked off my work shoes and ran around with them to help them stay on side and share who's turn it was to restart.

No subs, and they all kept up – I was really proud. They just needed a little encouragement and recognition, whether they were scoring tries or not.

Kindness with adults, even those frustrating ones, is also a good move. It's not only kids getting tired and grumpy at the end of the year and a little kindness, in this heat or standing in queues hearing Christmas songs, might make the difference for someone.

A friend of mine has challenged me to think about the concept that "everyone is just doing the best they can". It's both a testing and liberating idea.

Testing because sometimes it doesn't seem like that can possibly be true, but then liberating once you observe people through that lens – cut them some slack. The old adage applies that you don't know what else people might be dealing with.

But how do you combine kindness with staunchness, when holding the line is necessary? Is it possible to practice both? Am I supposed to think kindly about Don Brash trash-talking the basic use of Te Reo Māori on Radio New Zealand over the past week?

How about the driver of a ute I was following who was throwing litter out his window?

Of course, being kind doesn't mean tolerating bad behaviour.

Another friend, Anna Guenther, has recently written on www.medium.com about her experience of realising there are different ways to get results when calling out bad behaviour, particularly considering the risks of social media pile-ons.

She wrote: "together we can solve anything if kindness is at our core and we are willing to do the work."

Continuing the kindness theme, Wonder is on at the movies at the moment. Based on a best-selling novel, it's about a boy with facial deformity starting a mainstream school for the first time. The book apparently includes the quote from Wayne Dyer: "When you have a choice to be right or to be kind, choose to be kind."

The other choice I'd like to encourage, in addition to being kind and kicking off your shoes and running around with the kids, is to go swimming. I got my first swim of the season under the belt last weekend – a dip at Mosquito Point.

Sometimes I've been known to be hung up on getting my body out, or whether the water is warm enough. This summer, I'll be swimming – it's going to be hot enough.

In fact, NIWA is reporting a massive marine heatwave in the Tasman Sea – up nearly 2 degrees, with water off the West Coast 6 degrees warmer. Sorry to end on a sombre note, but it's hard to be completely carefree with the reality of climate change hitting home in such dramatic ways. Water shortages are already looming in Hawkes Bay and other locations.

So, enjoy the summer, be conservative with water use, take care swimming, and be kind to each other – including yourself.

*Nicola Patrick is a Horizons regional councillor, works for Te Kaahui o Rauru, and is exploring a social enterprise hub for Whanganui. A mother of two boys, she has a science degree and is a Green Party member.