Mars water means Martian coffee

There is evidence of water on Mars. Recent water, like last summer.
Scientists have found signs of water on Mars before, but that merely indicated ancient lakes long gone, or flowing streams of a distant past.
Now they've found evidence of water that's there now.
Not enough to yell "Surf's up!" but enough to surmise that life in some form may exist on the red planet after all.
You see, if there's water, there's probably coffee. If there's coffee, there's bound to be wide awake intelligent life, and if that's the case the pubs might be open for space travellers.
For centuries we have gazed from afar at the fourth planet and come up theories about what's on its surface, and most of those theories centred on water. The "canals" of Mars obviously indicated a culture that used irrigation. Perhaps Martians also travelled along those canals in boats. We have seen proof that ancient seas once surged across the planet and further proof that it had poles of frozen water (ice) just as we have on Earth. Of course, if there was ice, there would be bar staff and drinks on the rocks. In which case there was probably music and a busy dating scene.
It doesn't take a huge mental leap to elaborate on the scientists' skimpy revelations; they are cautious by nature, unwilling to sacrifice funding possibilities with fantastic conjecture. We, on the other hand, can take the basics and run with them, building a civilisation on Mars with a few flimsy facts. There's water on Mars; everything else follows.
Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote books on Mars adventures and he didn't mind populating the planet with advanced peoples and scantily clad princesses. He didn't dwell on the water aspect, merely assuming it was there and thereby validating the scenery behind his stories.
The marks on the landscape and salts in the soil that our scientists have used to form a very strong water theory are on rocky slopes. As the surface temperature warms the water has run off creating distinctive patterns - like snow melting on mountain peaks. Another small leap and we have a winter ski field ripe for Earth tourists seeking variety.
All we need is a breathable atmosphere and Mars is ready to open - after we sort through the ownership process, of course.
There has been another shooting at a school in the US. Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon has been attacked by someone with a gun, leaving 10 people dead and seven wounded. Will that affect the National Rifle Association's stand on gun control? No, it will not. The belligerent lobby group will continue to demand unimpeded access to firearms - pistols included - for every US citizen, dangerous, delusional or disturbed, because of a poor interpretation of the US Constitution. The right to bear arms has been construed to mean that anyone should have a gun in the glovebox and an arsenal at home.
So what will change attitudes in the home of the brave? We have gun laws here but that doesn't stop hunters getting licences, buying appropriate firearms and doing their legitimate recreational or food-gathering business. You can even own a pistol if you belong to a recognised club, make the right applications, get police approval and comply with safety regulations. In the US, the National Rifle Association (NRA) says that gun control will remove their firearms and prevent them from hunting. Why would they think that? Unless it's not about hunting at all. Unless it's about the gung-ho, cammo-attired morons who think they're arming themselves against an invasion of Communists, hippies, immigrants, Islamic terrorists, Jews, Freemasons, Illuminati, book-lovers, intellectuals, freed slaves, sushi-eaters or homosexuals? In which case their concerns are valid and they are deliberately standing in the way of public safety. And there seems to be enough of them - and many with influence in high places - that they can successfully block any senator with good intentions and healthy regard for human life.
The shootings will continue because it's too easy for anyone in the US to get hold of automatic weapons and as much ammunition as their enemies can eat. We will see more schools become one-sided battlefields, strewn with dead and dying. There will be more grief, more funerals, more wasted lives - all because some gun-toting morons can convince their friends on Capitol Hill that they control their political future. Democracy is failing America's children.
Former members of the Gonville Swim Club are asked to get a wriggle on. There's a reunion this month and Don Adams is putting out a call for last minute registrations.
Response so far has been good but if you haven't yet replied to the call to action, call Don on 347 9975, or email adams.maree@yahoo.co.nz