Many things in life drain us

REMEMBER the song There's a hole in my bucket? It starts off like this:

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

And so on it goes.

In the song, Liza instructs Henry that to fix his leaky bucket, he needs straw. To cut the straw, he needs an axe. To sharpen the axe, he needs a stone. To wet the stone, he needs water. However, when Henry asks how to get the water, Liza answers "in a bucket!" The only thing available to Henry to collect the water is his leaky bucket. Of course, if Henry's leaky bucket could carry water in the first place, it wouldn't need repairing, so the song gets stuck in an infinite loop.

We can think about this song in the context of our lives and our wellbeing. If you are trying to succeed in life with a leaky bucket then you can only get so far. So my question to you is "do you know what creates a hole in your bucket, do you have the tools to fix it and do you know how to care for your bucket so it doesn't become broken in the first place?

There are many things in life that can drain us (illness, fatigue, bereavement, an unhealthy relationship, children, unemployment or low social support, are just a few).

The best way to keep your wellbeing bucket strong and full is to look after it. Don't take your health for granted! Exercise, eat well most of the time, invest in quality relationships, learn new things, be inspired, find ways to contribute, do things that you are passionate about, step outside your comfort zone to realise that you are probably tougher than you think, and always do things that align with your values and strengths.

At times though, life will throw you a curve ball and just like Henry, we may not have the resources to fix our bucket. It's at these times that we must become more resourceful. There will be many times in life when we simply don't have all the resources that we need to achieve our goals, to maintain our wellbeing, or to achieve happiness. At these times it's time to think outside the square and become resourceful!

A beautiful illustration of resourcefulness that we witnessed in Wanganui late last year was from Stephen Laidler. He was made redundant and, with a family to feed, he needed to regain employment, quickly. He applied for jobs and sent out 300 letters and emails to local business, and stood on Victoria Ave with a sign saying "employ me, please!" along with his phone number. News reports were that Stephen's actions resulted in three job offers from local firms, and interest from the US, the Middle East and Australia.

I think when we get the mix right, between resources and resourcefulness, then not only can we achieve what we set out to do, but often we achieve something so much more.

Good luck with your buckets everyone! Fill them, notice when they empty and know how to prevent the leaks.

-A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in wellbeing at Auckland University of Technology.