Lynette Archer: Pio shares winning strategies

Lynette Archer Photo/File

ON Monday, we hosted Pio Terei, one of New Zealand's favourite entertainers, and met many parents in a few different places in our community.

Our first visit of the day was to the prison, where we had a welcome fit for royalty. The staff and men of the unit we visited welcomed us with a powhiri and Pio was invited to share his story and journey of parenting.

We spent much longer there than planned, as the men had many questions about their own parenting journeys, and the time with Pio was entertaining and encouraging for all.

Our next visit was to a group of parents who have been attending the first "Building Awesome Whanau" parenting course to be facilitated in Whanganui. This is a relatively new course, co-written and produced by Pio and the Parenting Place.

As the parents were completing the final session of the six-week course on Monday, it was very exciting to have Pio there to present their certificates and congratulate them on their success. The last event of the day was the Parenting Show, with Pio on Monday evening.

More than 100 parents turned up to hear Pio talk about his parenting journey and the strategies, well researched and tried and true, that work best to help families through these busy years.

Peppered with side-splitting humour, Pio's message left parents with much to think about and heaps of great tips to try when dealing with tricky behaviours.

From looking at our parenting styles - are we a Sergeant Major Parent, Jellyfish Parent or Backbone Coach Parent? - to the importance of looking after our own relationships and keeping the atmosphere sweet in our homes.

"To be a great Backbone Parent we need to be firm, fair and friendly" was the theme that emerged and was expanded on many times as Pio used examples from his own parenting.

Other great tips were:

-Building our whare - the roof is parents and whanau, the walls are boundaries, limits and rules, all on a foundation of love and the ideas and beliefs that hold our family together.

-A good motto - "the best time to deal with a problem is when it is not a problem". Let the situation calm down before you try to fix the problem, wait until later and talk calmly about the problem then.

-When our children leave home each day, their hearts should be like a kete full of good things: happy memories, hugs and skills to use.

-A child with a loving home not only feels good while they are at home, they can also handle life out in the world; they take your love and affection with them like a cloak.

-"Happy wife, happy life", nurture our relationships, remember to be thankful and show appreciation.

-Anger is often fear with the wrong label on it - when we come across anger, in ourselves and others, it's wise to think what might be really behind it. Take time to talk to your kids about how they are feeling.

-Keep an eye on your teenagers. Try to sit around the table at dinner time, this is the best time to see how everyone's day has been - a good opportunity to identify when things may not be going well.

-Teach our teens to be wise about the use of their phones, Facebook and other social media. Be aware of what is happening in their lives, during their teen years is not the time to step back, it's even more important now to stay involved.

-Have fun, create great memories and keep the atmosphere in your home sweet - for everyone.

-SKIP has great resources for parents of children 0-5 years and for parents of teenagers. For a copy of these resources or for any other parenting information contact Lynette and Liza at skipwhanganui@xtra.co.nz or ph/text 027 626 1404