LYNETTE ARCHER: Insecure kids need plenty of reassurance

Lynette Archer from Skip Wanganui Head and Shoulders Stock

THE flooding last weekend has been devastating for everyone involved, especially for children who may not fully understand what has happened.

At times like this, when you are feeling stressed, worried and tired, it can be hard to know what to say to your children or to know what to do.

It is normal for children who have been through a traumatic event to feel insecure and emotional, so try to understand and be tolerant of any changes in their behaviour.

Children might have problems with sleeping and nightmares and be too scared to sleep alone. They might also be more clingy and cry, or be more frustrated and impatient than usual.

Let your children know that you will all look after each other. Spend time together with lots of hugs and cuddles. If your children want to use a dummy or carry a cuddly blanket - let them, it will help them feel reassured and more secure. Let them know everyone feels worried and that is okay.

Children want to try to make sense of what is happening and when they don't know they use their imagination to fill the gaps which can make things more frightening for them. Try and explain what has happened and what will be happening while everything gets back to normal. You might also need to explain why we need to be careful with hygiene.

Talking and listening is important. Try to calmly explain what has happened - over and over if needed - and listen to how everyone is feeling.

You are the most important part of your child's life and how they respond to the flooding will depend on how you react to it. Try to act calmly even when you are not feeling that way - it will reassure your children.

Keeping to familiar routines will also help your children feel more secure.

Remember the SKIP six things that children need, they help to remind us of the things that our whanau need:

Love and warmth

-Looking after each other and spending time together.

-Getting close with lots of physical connecting, hugs and cuddles for reassurance.

Talking and listening

-Calmly explaining about the event - over and over if needed.

-Allowing 'replaying' of the event for as long as it takes.

Guidance and understanding

-Acknowledging that everyone feels worried.

-Helping identity and name feelings without interruption or judgement.

Limits and boundaries

-Keeping to familiar routines where possible.

-Keeping rules in place - safety for self and others.

Consistency and consequences

-Parenting needs to carry on - so where might we get some help for us? For the kids?

-Thinking about ways that might ease us back into 'the everyday'.

Safe and secure world.

-Having a plan for emergencies - "We'll be alright"

-Telling everyone "Things will be okay in time - although they might be different".

SKIP (Strategies for Kids and Information for Parents) has lots of great parenting strategies and tips. If you would like a copy of the SKIP booklets on parenting young children contact Lynette or Liza at SKIP Whanganui ph or text 027 626 1404, or email skipwanganui@xtra.co.nz