Unfortunately we all have stories of people who have survived cancer - or not. This week is also the anniversary of a close friend's mum passing away 15 years ago, still deeply missed. Another lifelong friend's cousin died earlier this year, again well before her time.
When I lived in Wellington in my 20s I volunteered with Mary Potter Hospice, writing biographies. Without intending to sound flippant, it was an entertaining task.
While it was an honour to help someone reflect on his or her life and share personal insights, it was actually great fun hearing about their fantastic relationships and adventures.
Mostly we had enough time to get their story together before they died - but not always.
For those who did not get the satisfaction of receiving their slim book at the end, I still feel the process of speaking and being heard was immensely valuable as they went through the challenge of knowing their life was closing.
Writing, too, can be so therapeutic. Another dear friend and journalist writes a blog entitled A Plodder, tracking her recovery from breast cancer - again, entertaining as well as heartfelt.
This week for me has been particularly manic, juggling the pressures of parenting, work and volunteering. Yet again I do appreciate the irony that I am staying up late to write about slowing down, instead of actually slowing down. But I value this opportunity to share these thoughts and hope I encourage someone to take a moment to reflect as well as reinforcing it for myself.
I am trying to do it with my parenting. As life is so busy I consciously switch operating styles between my frenzied work existence and overstimulated political life to slow down when I am with my children - I do not want to always be rushing them.
There are lots of good tips out there about how to do that, including the Aha Parenting website. This week Janet Fackrell was quoted on the site: "Have I drunk in their smiles and laughter and hugged them, or have I just checked things off my to-do list today?"
Lashlie, too, said she was "now focused on the moments of magic that are appearing in front of me", including the laughter of her grandchildren. That is what I try to do every day with my boys.
Not that they do not test me - they do. And I expect I will be re-reading Lashlie's He'll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men as I near the uncharted waters of adolescence.
This week I had a whinge on Facebook after Mr Three nearly threw me off my calm, considered parenting game - again. I asked friends for a reminder about why having such a determined boy was a positive, and received the best reply from one of my Green Party buddies: "Because you want a strong resilient teen and adult who will stand firm on things that count, and not bow to peer pressure. Because life is hard and we need resilience in the face of difficulty. Because that kid will grow into a hero." I think Lashlie would have approved.
Nicola Young is a former Department of Conservation manager who now works for global consultancy AECOM. Educated at Wanganui Girls' College, she has a science degree and is the mother of two boys. These views are her own.
