Letters: Strategies for a healthy spotlight on epidemic of shame

US researcher Dr Brené Brown has concluded that we are all living in an "unspoken epidemic of shame".

The manifestation of anti-social behaviour is all too frequently reported in the news. Millions of dollars are spent and a multitude of officials employed in attempting to lower and restrict increases in such behaviour.

Studies provide the possibility for individuals in our communities to become proactive supporters of those officials.

After decades of research, Dr Brené Brown of the University of Houston has concluded that we are living in an "unspoken epidemic of shame", which can be the "secret behind many forms of broken behaviour". Secret also highlights the fact that, in all probability, the shame individuals feel will remain their secret. Dr Brown states maintaining secrecy is a key component allowing for the exponential growth of shame.

In the claustrophobic head space, feelings of shame can spiral into self-destructive behaviour further degrading an individual's perception of self-worth and can potentially lead to self-loathing. Some of the self-destructive behaviour presents itself in anti-social actions.

Shame makes people feel vulnerable and research has revealed how differently each gender reacts to that emotion. For women vulnerability can be a lifetime sentence of living in a straitjacket of expectation. Marketers can and do take advantage of such feelings. Man's reaction to their feeling vulnerable is to ensure they do not appear weak. The phrase "man up" is all too frequently voiced when individuals express their feeling vulnerable.

Society perceiving vulnerability as a weakness has a stymie-ing effect on discussions around shame. This myth must be called for what it is, a myth.

In many of life's pursuits decisions made and actions that follow are prone to fail. Fear of failure elicits feelings of vulnerability, providing space for contemplation of the risks involved. Feeling vulnerable is not therefore a weakness.

Developing and adopting strategies at the community level to allow shame to be enticed from its black hole should be an imperative. As with any epidemic, shame should have the spotlight of a caring community directed on it, thereby providing an opportunity for the whole of society's wellbeing to be enhanced.

MAX WARBURTON
Whanganui

Climate variation

Jay Kuten (February 21, 2020) should bone up on the work of Milutin Milankovitch, explaining some of the variations of our planet in precession, tilt and variation of earth's orbit.

Perhaps he could look at the tilt where it was opposite to what it is now 13,000 years ago. Then our summer was a winter. We are looking at, say, temperature variations, that have remained consistent for million of years.
The planet is not sick, just in the hands of global wealth. Good to see Jay talking about God, I had almost given up hope.

F.R. HALPIN
Whanganui

Abortion bill

It is deplorable that the pro-abortion select committee has ignored the overwhelming public opposition to the anti-life and anti-feminist Abortion Legislation Bill. The select committee received 25,776 written submissions, 91 per cent of which were opposed to the decriminalisation of abortion.

The committee has also rejected the petition of 15,407 of Right to Life and the petition of 13,268 of Gina Sunderland opposing the decriminalisation of abortion.

This bill denies the humanity of the unborn child, denies the child's inalienable God-given right to life, grants property rights to the mother over her child, declares that it is no longer a crime to kill an unborn child, grants the "right" of the mother to terminate the life of her child, violates the conscience rights of doctors and violates the right of free speech and assembly.

The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, must accept responsibility for this Labour government bill, which trivialises the killing of the unborn by making abortion "a reproductive choice for women".

This bill betrays the feminist principles of non-violence, non-discrimination and justice for all; we don't serve women by empowering them to kill their children in the womb who are the weakest and most defenceless members of the human family.

KEN ORR
Christchurch

Student loans

To those who baulk at the cost of an education, it is negligible to that of stupidity, poverty, poor decisions, bad choices and a life scraping on the edges of society with nil understanding of how life works, blaming and looking to others to bail them out of any situation.

With the whole of the educational sector heading for a total revamp, I have the forlorn hope that the minimum standard that will apply is that every child who leaves school must have a basic standard of reading, writing and mathematics, how to budget, their rights when buying goods and services, their way around a bank, how to cook, how to put a condom on or take the pill, set an alarm clock and all other life skills that teach their true value, their self-worth and belief and the absolute accountability for their own decisions and actions as their destiny is not a matter of chance but an outcome of choice.

Higher education and its attendant costs purchased with interest-free loans are a contract between us, the taxpayers who fund it, and those students who benefit ... the
universities are funded via it.

The cost of those who default on these student loans is funded by those of us grafting.

The size of the debt is indicative of a failed model ... the irony is not lost that those in higher education and those that provide it, despite their intellect, chose to be wilfully blind to an inherent obligation to honour the trust and faith placed in them.

PAUL EVANS-MCLEOD
Hamilton

Minimum wage

Simon Bridges needs to look more closely at his policies. If the average wage is $65,000 pa, which equates to $1250 per week, then far too many people are on a very high income to allow this average to be $65,000.

By far the largest percentage of the population are under $65,000, therefore we are continuing to support them vs us with his proposition to keep the minimum wage at the same amount for at least their first term in office should they become government.

Get real, Simon Bridges!

JANINE DELANEY
Castlecliff

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