Learning to say bye at kindy

Lynette Archer Photo/File

One morning recently, en route to the SKIP office, I happened upon a dad watching through the door of the kindergarten. While trying hard to stay hidden, he was waiting to see if his daughter had managed to settle since his departure. In response to my question, "How is it going?", he replied: "Okay, but these repeated separations are hard." As parents we know that routines are important to establish with our children but some are harder than others depending on the temperament of the child and the stage they are at in their development.

This week, our focus is on a smooth transition to starting an early childhood centre or maybe attending school. It's much easier to say goodbye to a happy child, so here are some tips and strategies for making that transition a happy one. Remember to praise them when they are doing well.

Preparing for your child's first day:

Read or tell them a story about what happens at their centre or school.

Have a practice run, go through the routine of what they will do when they go to the early childhood centre.

Visit the centre and meet the teachers.

Remind them in the car or walking on the way to the early childhood centre and be sure to keep up the routine.

A tip from the SKIP Tips for Under Fives booklet - give one instruction at a time not a list.

When you are ready to leave your child:

Remind them about what they learned ... then run through the part of the routine you were up to.

Use: "Now it's time to ... (do whatever)".

Also try "which teacher would you like to be with this morning?" Take them over and "hand" them to the teacher.

Think of an activity that they will do when they first get to the centre, when their attention is off you and on to the activity, quickly take the opportunity to say, "Now it's time to say goodbye".

Communicate clearly. Tell your child when they are doing well so they develop the self-confidence to try new things. Praise your child so they repeat the behaviour you like.

What happens if your child won't let you leave?

If fussiness occurs, "Stop", get their attention "eyes, ears and mouth" and go through the routine again. Say "remember what we have learned, now it's time for ..." and make your way to the door.

You will need to be firm but loving, letting your child know what is happening and that now you are going. Then just GO.

This may take a few days or weeks to go through the routine. If you are consistent, your child will accept what is happening a lot quicker.

The key thing is not to be controlled or manipulated by the fussiness but be informative, loving and firm.

A tip from the SKIP booklet The Tricky Bits: Remember, tantrums aren't bad behaviour, they're small child overload. Talk to other people who know your child well or who have experienced similar problems with their children. This could be a friend, someone from the early childhood centre or another parent.

If you would like a copy of the free SKIP booklets for parents of children under 5, contact Lynette or Liza at SKIP Whanganui on 027 626 1404, or email skipwanganui@xtra.co.nz.