Kristen Hamling: The thing about money ...

Kristen Hamling Photo/File

My mother regularly buys flowers because she loves the beauty they bring to her home and they make her feel good. But really, I think they are just a waste of money.

I have had friends who spend money they don't have on jewellery they don't really need (in my opinion) to wear only once or twice a year. Seriously - what is the point of sticking a small diamond in your ear lobe that costs twice as much as a small car?

My husband thinks going out for dinner is a complete waste of money, whereas I really enjoy the whole experience and think it is money well spent.

The point is that we all have a unique relationship to money - we all spend money differently; we budget differently; we save differently. This may be based on our values, early experiences with money and our goals in life.

When two people come together in a relationship and start to join finances, there can often be a lot of conflict related to how each person spends money.

For instance, I once had a client who grew up in quite an impoverished family. My client had studied hard and became successful in life. However, she had several credit cards maxed out and she was terribly in debt. Her husband, a budgeter and saver, was at his wit's end. In counselling, we realised that my client avoided budgeting as an adult because it reminded her of her childhood. Budgeting made her feel "poor".

There is much to be gained for couples to understand why they spend money the way they do. If there are differences in how each person spends money, then being able to discuss these in a loving, rather than judgmental way, can be key to a successful relationship.

Scott Lee knows better than most how money can impact on relationships.

He has wrecked a few relationships in his life because of the way he spent money, and because he wasn't able to communicate effectively around this topic.

Now he has turned a corner, by understanding his relationship with money and how he can have better money conversations with the ones he loves.

Scott has spent the past three years learning about how to have better money conversations and he wants to share these, starting with Whanganui.

In a series of workshops, Scott will help us explore our relationship with money and how to have better money conversations with the ones we love.

I have met Scott a few times and I leave each of our conversations feeling enlightened and inspired.

He is humble, yet extremely knowledgeable, and passionate about helping people develop insight into their money habits. I think it is just as important to understand the psychology of money (why we spend the way we do), as it is to learn how to budget your money.

I have learned loads from talking to Scott on this subject already; I wanted to spread the word so that others can learn too.

The details of the first workshop are: Upstairs at the Big Orange, Thursday, October 8, at 6pm for two hours - the first workshop is free.

It's titled "How can I make money living my passion".

The other workshop titles include "The power of cash - go away personal debt" and "Better money conversations".

If you want more information, go to Love and Money on Facebook, like the page and click workshop series.

-A registered psychologist with a Masters in Applied Psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in well-being at Auckland University of Technology