Kristen Hamling: Grumpy? Then find someone you can help

I'VE recently figured out a way to get myself out of a funky mood, quickly. I simply look around for someone to help. Let me explain.

The other day I was in Auckland, working on a really cool project where I wanted to impress the group I was with. Unfortunately I had to make a difficult phone call before I was due to go and meet my client. My mood wasn't great and I needed a pick me up and quick.

Whilst I was waiting in the CBD for my client to collect me I noticed a mother on her own with two small boys. She was trying to navigate her way from one bus stop to another, but had so much gear with her that it was proving difficult. I wondered if I had time to help her and luckily for me I did.

I offered to help her get to where she needed to go. I managed one small child and one large suitcase and she did the same. We chatted en route to her next bus stop and it felt really nice to help her. The mother could not have been more grateful.

I also managed to say thank you to the mother, explaining that I had an important day ahead of me and I needed a few positive emotions to start the day. I said it feels good to help other people and we should all be looking out for those opportunities. She totally got it and said she would also look out for someone to help in the next few days.

What a cool experience. This exchange lifted my mood and I felt good about the day ahead.

Of course I don't leave any experience like this un-analysed. So I reflected upon the science that supports why this experience lifted my spirits.

Firstly, this exchange kicked off my mirror neuron system (ie, just watching the actions or emotions in another person fires off a special class of brain cells in the person watching, as if they were actually performing that action or feeling that way too). So when I saw the mother smiling at me, my mirror neurons for smiling fired up, creating a sensation in my own mind of the feeling associated with smiling. So I actually felt the woman's gratitude and positivity in myself. Way to go!

Secondly, positive emotions have a profound effect on us. They help to counteract bad moods, help us think more creatively and see the bigger picture. The positive emotions certainly set me up for the day.

Thirdly, studies suggest that all acts of kindness, small and large, are associated with positive mental wellbeing. Giving to others and co-operating with them can stimulate the reward areas in the brain, helping to create positive feelings.

And lastly, research suggests generosity is contagious. Studies have shown co-operative behaviour spreads between people. Those who benefit from kindness tend to find it contagious and "pay it forward" by helping others.

On that note, get your grumpy self out there and find someone to help.

A registered psychologist with a masters in applied psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in positive psychology at Auckland University of Technology.