Kristen Hamling: An old self on young shoulders

DO YOU ever get so wound up in the stress of the here and now that you sometimes miss the bigger picture in life? Well, I do.

Work stress, parenting stress, trying to eat healthy stress, relationship stress and all the other 21st century stresses can sometimes hijack my attention away from the big ticket items of life.

This has been happening too much for me lately as the stress of work has dominated my attention. I have forgotten to check in with my 80-year-old self. I do this sometimes when getting caught up in niggles of everyday life.

My 80-year-old self often says things like "no one ever got to their death bed and wished that they had spent more time at work and less time with the family" and "don't forget to notice that life is beautiful". I find I gain far more perspective about what is really important in life if I let my 80-year-old self guide me.

Sometimes it takes exposure to something awesome for us to really appreciate life. Like watching the stars twinkle at night, helping your child to master a new skill or playing in the autumn leaves.

Experiencing such moments help keep things in perspective and everyday stress seems to drift away. My awesome moments have included watching a professional gymnastic performance at the Boys and Girls Gym Club, seeing our beautiful awa in full flood and boarding down an icy slope on to the vastness of the Turoa glacier, thinking I had bitten off more than I could chew. The power of nature can make us think about what is really important.

Today, I had an awesome moment when my favourite song came on the car radio. I was at the beach with the kids and a friend on a glorious spring day. We opened the car and danced around on the grass to the music. I felt a nod of approval from my 80-year-old self, who said "dance like no one is watching".

In these times of materialism and high-octane hedonism I think we often forget to stop and appreciate the more subtle - but often powerful and nourishing - things in life. The taste of a freshly picked strawberry, the power of a laugh with a loved one, or the colours of a sunset are things that give me a sense of awe.

Life definitely has its ups and downs, and I think stress is a natural consequence of living. However, experiences of awe can help you bounce back from stress by putting things into perspective. Moments of awe increase our well-being and help us feel connected. I certainly feel closer to people I have shared such a moment with.

If you want to get on with living a good life then stop in awe every now and then, and make your 80-year-old self proud.

-A registered psychologist with a Masters in Applied Psychology, Wanganui mother-of-two Kristen Hamling is studying for a PhD in well-being at Auckland University of Technology.