Kevin Page: Workplace appearance etiquette - clean shaven or 'designer stubble'?

Kevin Page had a little more on board his chops, when he turned up to work recently, than the increasingly acceptable "designer stubble" as depicted in this image. Photo / Getty Images

Comment:

Just the other morning I was running late for work. So, to save time, I decided not to shave. Having spent the vast majority of the past 10 years or so working alone at home, ordinarily this would not have presented as a problem.

Nowadays, however, I have a job where I meet new clients on a daily basis. And first impressions count.

I had precisely that in mind when I raised the issue with my new twenty-something workmates when I finally did make it into the office. Just to see what the rules were regarding appearance.

Now when I say I hadn't shaved I don't mean I was all shaggy dog, if you know what I mean. I simply had a little more on board my chops than what they call "designer stubble" these days.

So, the team and I had a bit of a chinwag about what was acceptable. Or not as the case may be.

I should point out here I have worked in this industry, the same business in fact, many years ago. The rule back then was clean shaven (unless you had a neat beard) and tidy every day.

But things have changed.

We still need to be tidy, of course, but a lot of my workmates these days don't seem to bother with a daily shave.

The stubble look seems to go perfectly with the carefully organised hairstyle, confident patter and the cheeky toothpaste "ting" of a smile that goes with it.

The thing is I'm a lot older than my workmates and while I can pull off the confident patter bit, my cheeky smile has to be combined with a head that bares a stunning resemblance to a boiled egg, and nose and ear hairs that have a mind of their own, according to Mrs P.

She also says I look "dorky" when I'm newly clean shaven. Consequently, she's a fan of some manly stubble on my chin. As am I, now she's told me that. I should point out here that not too long ago I sported a full beard.

Then it got downsized to one of those tidy, goatee type things that I quite liked. Judging by the increase in the number of times she said "phwoar", I'd say Mrs P liked it too.

However, this style fell by the wayside when my mother bluntly told me it looked stupid - "like Fu Manchu" apparently – and it should go. Naturally, I 'm a good boy and do as my mum tells me so it went.

Anyway.

As I say, my co-workers and I are having a chat. It emerges a bit of stubble is fine and in keeping with the company thing not to sweat the small stuff. Naturally, they don't want me looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, but a "little bit" of growth is okay.

When I heard that a warning bell sounded in my head, and I made a mental note to go home and shave at lunchtime.

Any bloke who has celebrated the 35th anniversary, or more, of their 21st birthday will know what I mean here.

A bit of stubble at 8am is most likely to get together with its mates by the thousand come 5pm to make a rather impressive shadow.

Depending on your age you may also discover that shadow comes with flecks of white frost as the day progresses and you look like a convict who has been on the run for three days. I'm sure you've seen the cartoon mugshots.

So, as soon as lunchtime rolled round, I raced home and stood in front of the bathroom mirror while I scraped the offending hairs away.

I thought the end result looked pretty good, but Mrs P's "dorky" comment bothered me so I spent a bit of time trying to perfect my smile in the mirror so I was anything but.

Consequently, by the time I got it right – at least I hope I got it right - I was running late. Again.

Luckily, I got back to my desk just as my 1pm appointment turned up in the carpark.
You could say I made it by a whisker.

• Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines. Feel free to share stories to news@whanganuichronicle.co.nz (Kevin Page in subject field).