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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Kate Stewart: Who won - the boat or the captain?

By Kate Stewart
Columnist·Whanganui Chronicle·
1 Jul, 2017 06:18 PM3 mins to read

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America's Cup comes back to NZ.

America's Cup comes back to NZ.

WOOHOO ... in your face Team Oracle!

Take that Jimmy Sh*tpill, oops, I mean Spithill.

Team New Zealand has proven to the US and indeed the rest of the world that they are, without a shadow of a doubt, superior sailors.

Or have they?

Why was it that we won this time around, or indeed any other time? Nowadays so many factors come into play. Boat design, sponsors and budget, tactics, weather, technology, management and of course the sailing ability of the captain and crew.

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Call me old-fashioned, trust me ... I've been called a lot worse, but in a boating competition shouldn't winning be all about the sailing?

I'm sure many will disagree but for the last few America's Cups, I have felt that the boats themselves are more responsible for the win rather than the capabilities of those crewing them.

Yes, boatbuilding and design have improved massively over the years as has the onboard technology but where does it end?

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I'm worried that future races will be sailed, much like a driverless Uber, without the need for an onboard skipper and his team.

The captain, instead, sitting on dry land, directing every move of the boat from a heavily guarded control room, deemed so top secret even its location will be kept under wraps.

Will drones be flying overhead the boats, snapping images and sending back vital information to the mystery reinforced-steel bunker?

Competitions of this magnitude should be fought out and won based on skill.

They should not be determined by which team has the biggest budget and/or the most innovative design.

I'm not suggesting that we go back to the boats of old, it's okay to keep up with the times, but can't we at least consider the idea of having identical boats, the design of which can be a collaborative effort, so that at the end of the day it really is all about who are the better sailors?

But for now, we are victorious. The cup is ours.

For me, the biggest mistake Team Zealand made was throwing the almost priceless designer goodie bags into the crowd. We can only imagine how precious the unseen contents would have been.

The tossing away of such a significant booty was not only a tad disrespectful to the generous sponsors but I imagine many a crew member will cop an earful from shocked and eagerly expectant wives and significant others.

I would have opted to fill the cup with Watties tomato sauce and hiffed steak and cheese pies and saveloys to their supporters, but that's just me.

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And so now we await the Victory Parade and, no doubt, a record-breaking number of workers calling in sick!

I'm quite sure that Grant Dalton's first order of business, upon his triumphant return, will be to apply to Lotto for extra funding, to pay for the silver polish required to keep the shine up over the next few years.

And just where will the trophy be living? With the current housing crisis maybe the America's Cup and the Rugby World Cup can team up and a get themselves a nice little two bedroom in Mt Eden or Ponsonby.

A private retreat away from the constant viewing public and white-gloved groping of complete strangers, where they can momentarily experience what it feels like to be tarnished.

Seriously though, well done Team New Zealand. A win's a win ... you did us proud.

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