Earlier today I was doing some online research into the differences between a psychopath and a sociopath and it would appear that even the experts don't have it all figured out. While they agreed on several common traits I could find no clear and definitive checklist for the sociopath, which according to statistics is more prolific than one might think.
Bored and a tad confused, my eye was drawn to related links in the search, I could take an online test to determine whether I was a psychopath, sociopath or neither.
Cool, I thought. What better way to get an accurate diagnosis. So I clicked ...
The questions seemed basic enough but the multiple choice answers were oddly worded and when I couldn't find the exact right answer for me I clicked on what I thought was the closest or the next best thing.
Final question done, I submitted my test and awaited my expert evaluation.
Before me was a picture of Hannibal in his face mask and the words: You're a Psychopath.
Well, you can imagine my reaction. It was one of utter relief.
Had the diagnosis been one of sociopath I don't know that I could have endured the humiliation of being lumped in with such disorganised, impulsive, socially awkward and more common riff-raff.
Embracing my new status, estimated to be 1 in a 1000, I sought out the good traits of the psychopath: intelligence, discipline, charm ... what's not to love? It is a trait like discipline that has spared the lives of the life forms, thus far.
Many wrongly assume that all psychopaths are criminal in nature. They don't all spend a lazy Sunday afternoon plucking the wings off insects and torturing small animals.
You'll more likely find them at home, running countries and governments or working on plans to axe 500 jobs at the top corporation they just happen to be chief executive of.
It could be argued that even their less desirable traits, such as lack of empathy and glibness, are necessary to get the hard jobs done. Maybe, just maybe, the world actually needs us. Remember, it's an easy word to say but a much harder one to define.
Am I really a psychopath? Probably not. I cry at the drop of hat, have a tonne of empathy and adore animals but should I crack one day and go all loco don't say you weren't warned.
The brave can submit feedback to: investik8@gmail.com
-Kate Stewart is a politically incorrect columnist who does not suffer fools but does suffer from the occasional bout of hayfever.
