Kate Stewart: The next ethical hot potato

Will the idea of testing for banned substances in schools become the next ethical hot potato?

Will it be passed from each interested group with all the skill of a future All Black in the making or will it be fumbled and dropped by the perpetual people pleasers, out to protect the rights of those who will inevitably be labelled the latest of "unfairly targeted" victims?

For me, it's a no--brainer.

The earlier we can impart the message that performance enhancing drugs are not OK and will not be tolerated, the better and not just for the kids but for sport in general.

With sport becoming the big business it has and the huge potential payoffs that come with it, it's easy to see how the youth of today could succumb to the pressure of doing whatever it takes to succeed.

Combine that pressure with peer pressure, outside expectations and the general immaturity that most teenagers are known for and you create the perfect storm, where the drive for success will literally cloud their judgement.

But, if approved, will the enforcement of such testing be as easy to implement as it could be?

Are you kidding me? Don't make me laugh. Of course it won't be.

It will be blocked at every possible turn, with every do-gooder and human rights supporter crawling out of their health and safety approved woodwork to voice their shock and indignation at such suspicion and treatment, of minors, no less.

There will also be the need to consult with experts, Iwi, individual sporting groups and quite possibly the United Nations.

Apart from requiring parental permission they will undoubtedly be calling for a study into the psychological effects such drug testing will have on youth and then we will have to contend the BFP - that's the Bodily Fluid Police - yet to exist but almost certainly being hastily formed as I write.

Their primary function will be to monitor the urine and/or blood samples, before, during and after testing, to ensure only very specific tests are carried out and that safe and ethical disposal methods of leftover samples are adhered to avoid them being used for more sinister and nefarious purposes.

Counsellors will, in all likelihood, be required to be present during such testing, to minimise any emotional trauma on the child and Sports Psychologists will also be on hand to coach the kids into the right head space prior to giving their samples.

Photocopy machines and printers will get a good workout too, printing off certificates of praise and participation. Some schools may elect to take things a step further, furnishing prizes for the cleanest samples.

Why stop there? If you can get 3 or 4 NCEA credits just for the throwing and catching of a ball, imagine what a urine or blood sample has the potential to earn you.

Of course, that little change may require signing off in Parliament but who the hell cares, so long as we tread carefully and don't offend anyone.

Heaven forbid that a sensible idea can just be adopted and deemed as doable and the right thing to do for our kids.

No, instead we must be seen to please and appease the PC Army, forever consulting and seeking permission for things that in all honesty, don't even affect them.