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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

KATE STEWART: Single ladies, hear this call to arms

By Kate Stewart
Whanganui Chronicle·
8 Aug, 2015 04:12 AM4 mins to read

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Kate Stewart

Kate Stewart

IT'S hard to imagine that even in the midst of some pretty epic flooding, certain Wanganui residents have also had to battle with a drought.

And say experts, it's set to continue for some time.

While many may argue that it's a financial drought, I'm here to tell you it is far worse than that: it's a man drought and any woman fortunate enough to have a hidden "emergency supply" or supplies that are surplus to requirement may find herself with a target on her back.

Believe it or not, the man drought is very real and nationwide.

Thankfully, not all women are affected. The shortage is being felt (or sorely not felt) by educated women in the 25-49 age bracket and the long-range forecast looks bleak.

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Word on the street is that well-schooled, professional princesses are finding it increasingly difficult to bag a stag of equal intelligence.

Having toiled for so many years in the pursuit of equality, some women have reportedly resorted to "trading down" and settling for less in the brains department for fear of remaining single and becoming an old maid.

Not too many decades ago a very real life goal for many girls was to marry a doctor. Nowadays, the goal is to be one.

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The studies show that not only is there a shortage in the number of educated men, we also have to factor in all the men who admit to being intimidated and threatened by strong successful women. This leads one to ask; have these women shot themselves in the foot?

This is a simple matter of supply and demand but one that has left the endangered intelligent man with the upper hand. Will knowledge of his rarity and desirability lead to arrogance, choosiness and complacency?

What is the answer? How does one go about the task of manufacturing intelligent men? Should we be looking for alternatives to get us through the rough patch?

Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for the well-schooled women of Wangas to get together over wine and MANufacture a plan that could bring with it huge financial spin-offs for the city.

The outdated blow-up doll could suddenly be replaced by a new concept, Inflate-a-Mate, a local company with global potential.

For the online manhunt, we could create E-Male, the modern day version of the mail order bride, with a spin. Timed perfectly with our new immigration-friendly image, some new blood is just what our city needs.

For the savvy street shopper, how 'bout a quirky designer store called Manmade that specialises in custom-made mannequins with automated features. Life-size Ken dolls that you can dress, accessorise and play with for hours.

Though many will argue that there is no substitute for the real thing, why not have some fun trying to break into this traditionally male-dominated area of the market.

No one should have to settle for less, regardless of gender, so what's wrong with exploring some options.

Also, we need to remember that not everyone needs to be needed. Some women are perfectly content being single.

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You haven't lived until you've had a girl's night out. Drinking dirty martinis into the small hours, only to awaken several hours later in a field next to your single gal pals, where you all discover that a mysterious crop circle has appeared in your newly liberated armpit hair.

Now, that's living.

A word of warning to those blessed with a brainy bloke, beware the poachers. Now's the time to protect your catch. Mark your territory and appreciate what you have.

The quest for an ideal mate can bring out the beast in some and this man drought is the perfect climate for the more ferocious to leave some ladies licking their wounds.

-Kate Stewart is a politically incorrect columnist of no repute. She does welcome your feedback - investik8@gmail.com

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