Kate Stewart: How much do you charge for sex?

SAFE in the knowledge that your hand won't be coming out of the paper to slap me indignantly in the face, I'm just gonna come right out and ask you.

How much do you charge for sex?

You might want to think very carefully before you answer though because when we really look closely at the question and break it down, we all have our price.

The currency may be different but one way or another we all pay and/or get paid for sex.

Many of us want to believe that such a question can only be asked of a sex worker, a profession that more often than not is frowned upon and considered the lowest of the low when, truth be told, it's probably the most honest and straightforward of all sexual transactions. For those not seeking commitment sex is guaranteed, unlike the outcome of an expensive date. No mind games, no emotions, no strings. Just a simple payment for services rendered. Safe sex with a partner who is required by law to undergo and provide proof of regular sexual health checks.

For those in the habit of engaging in casual sex the reality is the sex worker is more likely to be a safer and cleaner option than a drunken pick-up in a bar.

So ... what do you charge? Is your currency the dollar? Dinner and drinks? The thrill of being the other woman? Expensive gifts or maybe it's more emotional.

Crippled by insecurities perhaps you come cheap, say a couple of drinks to lower your inhibitions followed by a sickly sweet serving of carefully chosen compliments that temporarily bolster your low esteem to seal the deal.

Let's not kid ourselves here. The whole dating ritual is just the means to an end. The guy goes to great expense to impress. Flowers, chocolates, dinner, drinks, maybe a movie. Money is being paid out to spend time with you and hopefully get you into bed. The only difference is that it doesn't go straight into your purse.

We all have our own terms and conditions. For some one date is all it takes, others have a three date minimum putting them in the high class call girl league while others still, resort to mind games, emotional blackmail and even the withholding of sex to get their payoff which is more about control.

Admitting you come with a cost attached is nothing to be ashamed of but what you value yourself at can be. Others can not cheapen you, you can only cheapen yourself.

I, for one, would have far more respect for a prostitute than I would for someone who just gives themselves away for nothing.

Male or female, I guess the real question should be: What are you worth? More specifically self-worth.

We are all worthy but sadly a lack of values can often cause us to devalue ourselves. Food for thought.

As always I welcome your feedback: investik8@gmail.com and wish you a safe and happy Easter.

-Kate Stewart is an unemployed, reluctant mother of three, currently running amok in the city ... approach with caution or cheesecake.