Friends, families and the school can do the hard yards while the parent busies themselves with far more important things, like Facebook and Tweeting.
We're talking the same type of parent who believes sleepwear is the new daywear.
But there are also those who believe in this new arty-farty philosophy of letting the child dictate what and when is the right time for anything . . . God forbid anyone judges them when they arrive at their first day at school still wearing a diaper.
Take a selfie . . . proud parenting moment knowing your lazy arse failed bigtime. Perhaps the current craze of an "open letter" will help you justify it. You have plenty of time to type one of those . . . but you can't find the time to put your kid on the toilet at regular intervals.
Why save yourself a small fortune in disposables when the experts are telling us they'll go when they're ready.
Then there's the practice of disguising vegetables, as if they were some sort of Russian spy infiltrating our society . . . all because parents were too bloody lazy to introduce them when the kids were first able to eat solids.
Laboriously grating zucchini and carrot, only when we feel able to tear ourselves away from our tablets and phones; amused only by the fact that we're on a covert operation that we can post about on a parenting blog.
Our success is akin to that of concealing "the enemy" between the butt cheeks of Kim Kardashian — yay us!
I don't give a monkey's uncle what you think, there's just something not right with a four-footer wearing a nappy.
P*ss-poor mum that I am, I recall taking my eldest Lifeform to the doctor convinced that he was suffering from liver disease, only to find he had turned a yellowish orange because he had eaten too much pumpkin and carrots. These days it's oven pizza and two-minute noodles, frequently prepared by the child themselves.
There used to be a time when our kids couldn't fart without great disapproval; nowadays our music on Spotify and Itunes seems to drown out our concerns.
In the need to be self-serving, we've given the power to the kids.
And whether it's a case of neglect and/or poverty, the fact remains many of our children are left to parent themselves. And yet we question why this generation of offspring seem so entitled.
And if a mother, such as myself, is asking questions ... then Houston, we have a problem.
It's madness — the common definition being that of repeatedly doing the same thing but expecting a different outcome ... a bit like an Auckland commuter.
Too freaking lazy or arrogant to seek a more realistic solution? But hey, in this great big wonderful world where one can no longer be defined by a mere label, is it any wonder that the term "parent'' no longer exists in our new warped reality.
Being accountable for our actions is a thing of the past — it's always someone else's fault and so the sorry excuses we once referred to as parents can now be excused as our children are, increasingly, playing the parent and raising themselves.
Yep, it's another sad moment for society. Nothing to get your knickers in a twist about ... assuming you're toilet trained, that is.
■ investik8@gmail.com
