I'm surprised the Government hasn't given us all a paid days leave to educate and familiarise ourselves with the rapidly growing lingo. A workshop or roadshow...something to further force their will upon us.
Last time I checked this was a free country. Our minds and beliefs were our own, not something to be dictated to or dumbed down to placate others and pander to their lack of self worth.
I'm obviously not fluid enough.
Fluid - the latest of PC words.
Gender fluidity, sexual fluidity. What a load of bollocks.
Labels for labels sake. Ironically the term sexual fluidity was created for those who refuse to be defined by the label of only one sexual orientation. What a joke. A label for those who don't want a label...you see my point. It's redundant before it begins.
Fluid - the same stuff that can evaporate, boil dry and turn to ice. Even the word choice is dodgy. Dynamic is way better. But fluid's PC so let's just mindlessly follow the leader.
If on Monday you want to be bisexual, Tuesday gay and Wednesday you suddenly feel drawn to a menopausal moose or inanimate object, that's your business but don't expect me to adopt the label you supposedly seek to avoid. Unless I ask, it's TMI, thanks to yet another completely useless trend...oversharing.
Gender neutral? What the hell's wrong with being a girly girl or a man's man if that's what you desire and why accept being sent on a guilt trip if you do? What's the neutral ground?
A Scotsman in a kilt? Oops .. have I offended non Scottish kilt wearers? Off with my head!
Is a women's refuge or an all boys sex school sexist? I'm confused. How many exceptions to each rule?
Keep on at this rate and pretty soon, with the backing of human rights, discrimination and equal opportunity laws, we'll be hosting the annual, Pedos in the Park as a family event. Then what, Necrophiles by Night? Where does it end?
Why can't individuals be content in just being? What's with the desperate need to attach themselves to a label to affirm who they are, just to gain acceptance from people who ultimately don't matter. It's all rather pathetic, pointless and masks a deep insecurity.
Who knew, five years ago White Christmas would be a racially insensitive and religiously inflammatory phrase. In another five years, is there anything we won't be forced to accept and/or tolerate just because we're being told it's the PC thing to do?
When have politics ever really done us any favours?
This retro hetro is off to get fluid, a colour neutral coffee. Haters, feel free to drive over me with a steamroller. #flat-white.
Smile loudly, before that becomes offensive too.
■Kate Stewart is an unemployed, reluctant mother-of-three, currently on the run from government forces who welcomes feedback to investik8@gmail.com