It would appear though that the network is not ready to loosen its arthritic grip just yet, choosing to appoint a 76-year-old to the post.
How much longer before Roman Catholics the world over get to enjoy the benefits of a leader whose age can be verified without the need for carbon dating? Just the fact that every Pope ever appointed has qualified for a pension would be enough to suggest that just maybe they are past their prime and better suited to retirement. Many will argue they are going with wisdom and experience but a priest of 55-60 years of age can still bring 30 years plus experience to the table and be physically capable of changing a tyre on the Popemobile if absolutely necessary.
Can you imagine what the Vatican must have been like these past few weeks, playing host to so many of its elders? The hallways congested with Zimmer frames and not a passing lane in sight, as they make their way to the dining room to enjoy a breakfast buffet of oatmeal, prunes, cranberry juice and allbran. Afternoons would have more closely resembled Spain, rather than Italy, as the clergy toddle off en masse to enjoy an afternoon siesta before enduring rush hour in the bathroom as catheters are emptied and problem prostates relieved. Then there would have been the nightly "turn down" service. Glasses of water on every bedside table with the traditional mint on the pillow been swapped out for a Steradent tablet for their dentures.
I am also forced to wonder if all the black smoke billowing from the chimney could actually be attributed to the burning of any remaining evidence that might further expose the Church to yet more bad publicity. With their track record, surely you can understand my scepticism.
I wonder, too, if the powers that be might ever consider a more democratic way of electing a leader, giving its global congregation more of a say in who their spiritual team leader should be. It could be run more like a presidential campaign where those in the running could even rely on the support of a corporate sponsor.
Imagine it, a papal contender backed by Hell's Pizza, it's marketing gold. But seriously - what a shock for the South American successor, going from a small, modest apartment to the swanky and more palatial bachelor pad while trading public transport to cruise the mean streets in the pimped out Popemobile, complete with bullet proof glass.
While it's heartening to see a non-European enter the fold, I am not convinced that it will be enough to prevent him from becoming just another puppet in the papal pulpit.
I really do wish Frankie nothing but the best though I still maintain that the position is better suited to a younger man. I shall, nevertheless, try to remain open minded. Maybe he can make a believer out of me, yet. Until then, Catholic or not, let's all smile loudly and pray for rain.
Waffles Bone Of Contention
This week it's with the R.F.U. How many chances is too many? I'm all for forgiveness and a second chance but by repeatedly letting Zac Guildford back into the fold after so many threats of final warnings they are setting a dangerous precedent for themselves. Zac is plenty young enough to spend much more time undergoing rehab and still have a long career in rugby, after he is truly well and more mature. A few weeks in treatment and another token "sorry" just doesn't cut it.
