I’m just shy of 5ft 8in and I weigh 57kg, so I don’t need a diet. I’ve never dieted and, to be honest, 2024 was the strangest year of my life, so I’ve given myself a bit of time to digest all that happened without succumbing to the uninvited social media advice about becoming a better person. I think I’m already a good person. Could I be better? Yes. Will I try? Yes. Do I need a meme or video on Facebook or Instagram to tell me how to do that? A big fat no.
I spent all of last year (and am continuing) to make sure my parents are well cared for in their home.
It has been my fulltime job for a year. Just so you know, that earns you $430 a week. I would do it again in a heartbeat and will continue to do it, but to say I have found it difficult would be an understatement. I’m a 100mph girl and I’m used to achieving and making a difference from a career perspective. Not being able to do that has been the hardest thing for me to try to get used to.
The Grumpy Old Men analogy is not simply for men. I would now describe myself as “prickly”. As someone who works in marketing, I wouldn’t touch me with a 10ft barge pole. The phrase lipstick on a pig springs to mind, by my own admission.
I know what’s missing in my life without being told by any form of media. It’s hope.
Let me give you some form of perspective as to why I don’t feel so good only days into 2025.
On New Year’s Day in two cities, two men died within seconds of each other. One was a close girlfriend’s father in Nelson and the other was my Uncle Ron in Dunedin. That left my father’s sister a widow. I am grieving for those they have left behind, not myself, but if you want to springboard forward with positivity into a new year, that is a pretty crap way to start. But that is reality. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d gone on a diet, eaten positive pills or wrapped myself in seaweed – they still died.
The positive that I am taking from this is that the strength my aunty and one of my best friends have shown is beyond measure.
When death occurs in any way, shape or form, it gives you a reality check on what is really important – for me, at the end of the day it’s family and friends.
Acting with loyalty and respect as a person and showing strength when you need to, but allowing yourself to grieve in your own way when you’re ready. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. If everyone threw their problems into a pile, they would all grab their own problems back. There is always someone who is worse off than you. Always.
I parked my car yesterday in Kōwhai Park to go for my walk and a van pulled up alongside me before I got out of the car.
Three caregivers got out of the van and organised their incredibly physically disabled charges to a picnic table. KFC was the meal of choice and these three women also brought out a speaker with upbeat music and laughed while they fed those they were looking after. The joy was palpable. Clearly, these three women were born to care for others and to make people happy. Another lesson for this author.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel sorry for myself, I just think I need to do more than a little work on my attitude.
I also need to dig in the remnants of what was my normal life and find something to be hopeful for. A life without any hope is a horrible place to be.
So, that being said, I’ve decided the answer will be in a vision board. While not a witch, I do believe in manifestation, so that is how I’m deciding to start 2025. Give me a couple of months and I’ll have a 1970s split-level home, a VW Tiguan and a holiday booked to Rarotonga. Watch this space.
To round up this particular column on a theme, my thoughts are with the Turia whānau with the passing of Dame Tariana – a groundbreaker who will leave a massive chasm for those who loved her. Rest in peace.
