I remember the first time I entered the United State of America I was presented with the following sentence: "Have you ever been arrested or convicted of an offence or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or been arrested or convicted for two or more offences for which the aggregated sentence or confinement was five years or more; or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?"
A country, which has been known to engage in assassination and torture and caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands civilians in some military adventure abroad, was asking me if I had committed a moral turpitude!
Tempting as it was to ask the border person what a turpitude was and whether Uncle Sam had the blood of innocent people on his hands, I thought it was safer to just tick the "No" box.
I once discovered that if you want to experience bad-tempered American border guards at their rudest try crossing from Mexico, at night and without a visa (coming from a visa waiver country, New Zealanders don't need a visa).
And then there is the lengthy process of standing on two yellow footprints and looking at a camera, as a machine - a good deal more intelligent than its operator - computerises your iris, finger- and thumbprints.
Unfortunately if you place a string on a globe east from Auckland to Heathrow Airport in London, it will pass directly over LAX (Los Angeles International Airport) which most travellers to and from Europe use as their halfway transit hub.
There are Air New Zealand flights direct to San Diego and Houston (for those wanting to travel on to Cuba, Mexico and Central America) and one to Vancouver, which means it is possible fly east around the north of the US.
Mexico City International Airport (MEX) would be a convenient transit hub for both the Caribbean and Central America or onwards to Europe but, as yet, there are no direct flights from NZ to MEX for travellers who want to avoid the Nation of Darkness.
MEX is Latin America's second busiest airport and air traffic there "exceeds current capacity". A new international airport will be completed next year and, with the capability to move 120 million passengers per year, it has the potential to become the busiest airport in the world.
A media spokesperson said Air New Zealand was not considering a direct flight to Mexico City anytime soon.
Given the choice of stopping over in LAX or MEX, I would recommend the later.
It helps if you can speak a little Spanish but the art galleries and museums, the street life and music, the food and the Hispanic style are well worth the journey. By distancing itself from the drug wars Mexico City is a safe city ... of sorts.
The United States of Mexico is a federation of 31 states and one federal district. In the heart of Mexico City is the old "Districto Federal" (population 8.9 million), which was last year given the status of a state and is now known as the "State of the Valley of Mexico".
Greater Mexico City has an urban population of over 21 million and, counting the surrounding municipalities, Mexico City is the centre of a "megalopolis" of 34 million (2015 census), the sheer scale making it one of the largest economies of any "global city".
Mexicans refer to Mexico City as "Chilangolandia" - a chilango being a loud, arrogant, ill-mannered, loutish person.
Now that the chilango gringo POTNOD, north of the border, has scrapped the Trans Pacific Partnership agreement, the Mexican government has initiated direct trade talks with the New Zealand government. What an economic opportunity.
Bill should tell Enrique: "The first thing we need is a direct flight to MEX as soon as the new international airport is operational in 2018."
*When Fred Frederikse is not building, he is a self-directed student of geography and traveller. In his spare time he is co-chair of the Whanganui Musicians Club
